Humor

Two experts break down the controversy The NFL has endured a number of controversies in recent years — increased awareness about concussions, domestic violence by players, Colin Kaepernick and the national anthem protests. But these little things, as we like to say, aren’t truly “about The Game.”  Genuine intellectuals and sophisticates within the sports world […]

Jan. 12, 2020 Here at the Aggie, we’re proud to bring you high quality news coverage around the clock. Unfortunately, that clock revolves not around the 24-hour day, but around what is typically a two- to three-week editing and publishing cycle, so sometimes we may not be able to provide the minute-by-minute updates that you […]

Instagram does next to nothing by removing public like counts  Instagram said the removal of likes will reduce bullying on their platform and create a healthier environment for its users. But what the removal of tracking likes actually does is next to nothing to stop bullying or create a healthier environment. The actual consequences of […]

“For Christ’s sake, stop the Goddamn music!” ***This page has been repeatedly updated to reflect new information about Sunday morning’s events as it has become available since our initial Breaking News Report*** During the Midnight Mass on Christmas Eve at St. Reagan Catholic Church 20 miles outside of Fresno, a major event of great public […]

“Me, Myself and I. Personal Interview. 2019.”   Fourth-year economics major Jonah Johnson was at the end of his rope last night. He had a 10-page paper due for his A History of the Paperclip class that he had put off until 9 p.m. the night before it was due. Armed with a dangerous cocktail of […]

The truth comes out Waking up in a cold sweat, Katie Helmer realized she couldn’t take it any longer. With graduation just around the corner, the last thing she wanted to do was leave Davis as a fraud.  Four years of lies and cover-ups have haunted her during her time as an Aggie, and after […]

by MARIO RODRIGUEZ — marrod@ucdavis.edu

This introvert has mastered the art of the Irish goodbye Last Friday, Colin Meyers, a fourth-year classics major, reluctantly accepted an invitation to a house party. After pacing outside for 15 minutes, Colin found the courage to open the door. This is your time to shine, Colin, he whispered to himself while striking a power […]

Gobble your troubles away With any fleeting quarter comes student stress. Stress is whack, as it can negatively impact day-to-day activities, resulting in poor mental health and a lack of motivation. Since 2010, UC Davis has single-handedly annihilated student stress by introducing the Therapy Fluffies program. Therapy Fluffies allow students to hang out and snapchat […]

Don’t be alarmed if you hear fluoride-gagged screams coming from the hotbox  Justin Miller, that random dude down the hall, is now taking new dental patients. Miller, a first-year sociology major, performs dental cleanings, tooth extractions, root canals and fillings for just $20 — or a gram of weed.  If UC Davis students want to […]

Ugh his mind. So powerful. Kenneth Coleman walked into his Art History class last Thursday evening and sat in his unassigned-assigned seat in the back, just as he always had. He sported his usual tank top and sandals, carrying nothing with him but his intellect.  The cheap ceiling lights of Art Hall illuminated his empty […]