Humor

Product has been successful beyond be-leaf Ahhhh, Spring Quarter! It’s a wonderful time to get outside and witness nature at its finest. The bees are buzzing, the sun is shining and the frat boys are engaging in a game of beer die on their lawns. And, of course, there’s them. Those trees with the malodorous, […]

A love letter to the (organic) apple of my eye This is it. You and the man of your dreams are hanging out together. The lights are low, and tensions are running high. He says your name, and your breath catches in your throat. He leans in close and whispers in your ear: “Let’s go […]

An understated masterclass in acting and filmmaking, full of [adjective] Bonjour, it’s [pretentious film critic], and it’s great to be back with you, my devoted and [patronizing qualifier] readers. I’m back from the [Cannes/Sundance/Telluride/Toronto] Film Festival, where I sipped [expensive sounding name] wine excessively and screened dozens of films that you won’t actually be able […]

Written by: ROSEY MOREARTY — rosey@morearty.org

Here comes the bridle! Mazel tov! Gunrock, everyone’s favorite cobalt colt, popped the question to his longtime girlfriend, Rainbow Dash, this past weekend. Miss Dash, for those who are unfamiliar, is the star of “My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic,” a popular TV show for young children and men who live in their parents’ basements. […]

Avert your eyes, and anything else that can contract infection D. Finn Kumquat was quite successful as an avocado — f***ing hell, excuse me, I’m sorry — was quite successful as an advocate of the health food movement. He spent decades serving the local community from his private practice as a “licensed” diet, health, wellness, […]

Written by: Rosey Morearty — rosey@morearty.org

Ag-vengers, assemble! Superheros are all the rage these days. It’s understandable why they’re so popular. Companies like DC and Marvel make great stories and awesome superpowers for their heroes in tights and capes. I mean, what kid DOESN’T want to be Batman? He has the coolest superpower: being rich and owning thangs! To hop on […]

“Your ‘Blue-Eyes White Dragon’ is no match for my ‘Blue-Haired White Neo-Liberal’!” When you hear the name “Universe City,” you might think, “Wow, that just sounds like a lazy play on the word ‘university.’” If so, you would be completely right, but even that didn’t stop the creator of said card game, Dick Garfield, from […]

Written by: Rosey Morearty — rosey@morearty.org

Turkeys gone wild Now I know you read the headline thinking this is some desperate attempt to promote the wildlife here at Davis or a smear campaign against the over-hyped and depressingly expensive Hydro Flask, but that’s an article for another week. I’m here to tell you about the modern-day David versus Goliath battle. Yes, […]