Humor

UC Davis students feels alone, sad and gross  Last Tuesday, first-year communications major Brian Greene decided to head for a run in the arboretum after consuming 1,188 calories worth of double-chunk chocolate DC cookies. Blasting “The Real Slim Shady” in his airpods, Greene optimistically began his journey. As he rounded the lake, he noticed a […]

Another one bites the dust More often than you’d like, you get that one flat-haired professor who really demands your company in class. You know, the whole “attendance is mandatory and if you miss one class you fail” spiel. Death in the family, a nasty case of the flu —  he’s already heard it all. […]

Prepare to be shocked  Alan Markham, clad in ill-fitting blue jeans and helmet hair, opens up the door for me to his West Village apartment. It is utilitarian, even Spartan, in decoration — a UC Davis campus map sits lonely on a coffee table, several alphabet magnets spell out nothing in particular and the freezer […]

Gunrock, but he’s your DD As some may recall, Tipsy Taxi was deemed #canceled during a Senate meeting earlier this year in a bloody nine-to-one vote. Like Safe Ride, the ASUCD service provided free rides to partygoers and the like during late hours all across Davis. Unfortunately, due to the Senate’s budget deficit, Tipsy Taxi […]

By Mario Rodriguez — marrod@ucdavis.edu

This message was recovered from an unnamed students backpack  Hi – you know who I am. I’m writing to you from the recesses of your JanSport, your North Face, your Fjallraven Kanken or whatever equipment is now trendy to drag me from place to place. It’s been a long few months for me, as you […]

What if I left you a winky face underneath your Discussion post? Haha just kidding… unless? Facebook messenger? Outdated. Instagram DMs? Predictable. Tinder? Yuck! Canvas, fellow romantics and newly singles, is the new hot spot for finding love (as well as your class assignments and posted lecture slides) in the rather lonely and fleeting world […]

Why take the L when you can take the W?  The L line has finally dropped out of service after weeks of sudden fear-induced desolation.  As the stressful and rather spooky season of midterms creeps up on us, students can often be seen confiding in bizarre superstitions to survive the ill-fated quarter. For many, this […]

“We snapchatted for a few weeks after, then he ghosted me.” In the Tercero Dining Commons this morning, first-year biological sciences major Katie Smith found herself in the unfortunate position of going to breakfast at the same time as her ex-romantic flame, Trevor Anderson.  Whilst in line to use the waffle machine, Katie told reporters […]

An ode to the loneliness (and inevitable infestations) of Summer Session Hello there, gents. I am a student taking Summer Session II, and I would like to share some of my feelings about UC Davis in the summa times.     It’s hot.     My classes are hard.     I’m very lonely because I’m the only […]