Humor

Do you know why we’re here? This is an intervention.  At noon last Tuesday, an intervention was held for a student.  The intervention took place in the high-traffic sidewalk between Dutton and Young Hall. The set-up included three fold-out chairs, notebooks filled with emotional sentiments and a whiteboard detailing their course of action.  The student, […]

UC Davis first-year was shooting for As, but found herself shooting for the stars instead First-year biological sciences major Anne Williams found herself in a conundrum last Thursday while studying on the fourth floor of Shields Library.  An unknown guy materialized to take the desk behind her, wearing AirPods and basketball shorts. “Damn, it’s not […]

My interior is filthy and it’s getting dark Captain’s Log. Day 1: It’s been approximately three days since I’ve left Stacey’s side and seen the mustard linings of her Fjallraven Kanken. Who would have thought that her 4 p.m. lecture would be our last time together? I remember when I first came into her life. […]

A new nickname for your favorite man  Brunch with the girls last Saturday proved to be riveting. As we drank our oat milk lattes, my friend Clara was gushing about her boyfriend Ben and let slip that she likes to call him “daddy” in and out of the bedroom…or should I say playtime? The admission […]

Close your eyes and imagine this: You receive the startling notification that your final has been graded and posted on Canvas.  As expected, you hardly managed to scrape by with 71%, curved. Your A- that was hanging on by a thread has now dropped to a devastating B+. Your GPA is quaking. Life sucks. You […]

UC Davis students feels alone, sad and gross  Last Tuesday, first-year communications major Brian Greene decided to head for a run in the arboretum after consuming 1,188 calories worth of double-chunk chocolate DC cookies. Blasting “The Real Slim Shady” in his airpods, Greene optimistically began his journey. As he rounded the lake, he noticed a […]

Another one bites the dust More often than you’d like, you get that one flat-haired professor who really demands your company in class. You know, the whole “attendance is mandatory and if you miss one class you fail” spiel. Death in the family, a nasty case of the flu —  he’s already heard it all. […]

Prepare to be shocked  Alan Markham, clad in ill-fitting blue jeans and helmet hair, opens up the door for me to his West Village apartment. It is utilitarian, even Spartan, in decoration — a UC Davis campus map sits lonely on a coffee table, several alphabet magnets spell out nothing in particular and the freezer […]