Humor

Written by: ROSEY MOREARTY — rosey@morearty.org

Here comes the bridle! Mazel tov! Gunrock, everyone’s favorite cobalt colt, popped the question to his longtime girlfriend, Rainbow Dash, this past weekend. Miss Dash, for those who are unfamiliar, is the star of “My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic,” a popular TV show for young children and men who live in their parents’ basements. […]

Avert your eyes, and anything else that can contract infection D. Finn Kumquat was quite successful as an avocado — f***ing hell, excuse me, I’m sorry — was quite successful as an advocate of the health food movement. He spent decades serving the local community from his private practice as a “licensed” diet, health, wellness, […]

Written by: Rosey Morearty — rosey@morearty.org

Ag-vengers, assemble! Superheros are all the rage these days. It’s understandable why they’re so popular. Companies like DC and Marvel make great stories and awesome superpowers for their heroes in tights and capes. I mean, what kid DOESN’T want to be Batman? He has the coolest superpower: being rich and owning thangs! To hop on […]

“Your ‘Blue-Eyes White Dragon’ is no match for my ‘Blue-Haired White Neo-Liberal’!” When you hear the name “Universe City,” you might think, “Wow, that just sounds like a lazy play on the word ‘university.’” If so, you would be completely right, but even that didn’t stop the creator of said card game, Dick Garfield, from […]

Written by: Rosey Morearty — rosey@morearty.org

Turkeys gone wild Now I know you read the headline thinking this is some desperate attempt to promote the wildlife here at Davis or a smear campaign against the over-hyped and depressingly expensive Hydro Flask, but that’s an article for another week. I’m here to tell you about the modern-day David versus Goliath battle. Yes, […]

Caesar wasn’t HOT-N-READY for impalement, but this pizza is! What’s better than getting a large pepperoni pizza to celebrate the brutal murder of history’s favorite dictator? Getting a free knife as well! That’s right, the brains behind your favorite I’m-drunk-and-it’s-2-a.m. pizzeria chain are giving away collectible knives with the purchase of every pie on Mar. […]

Bringing a new meaning to ‘wet’ campus As a Davis student, countless factors of student life breach the veil of background noise into coherent, active thought on a daily basis. So, when I say that on-campus water is important to me, you should understand how serious I am. I have spent countless hours with my […]

Written by: Rosey Morearty — rosey@morearty.org

Vegans are at it again This new age vegan religion never ceases to amaze me. From trying to disguise cauliflower as chicken wings to creating chicken-flavored soy milk, vegans have always been a bit nutty in the head if you ask me. (Get it? “Nutty”? Because they love them some good ol’ nuts.) A piece […]