Humor

I’m beyond repentant Five weeks ago, I wrote an extremely offensive article. Due to the intense backlash to the Article, The Aggie promptly fired me. In fact, you could say I was actually fired at the very moment I had the idea to write the Article. The Thought Police were on me like THAT, and […]

By DIANA OLIVARES — deolivaresvalencia@ucdavis.edu

Student writes this and other radical statements in personal manifesto-turned-livestream This week, an anonymous manifesto was released and distributed across the UC Davis campus in support of “the complete and unabashed removal of capitalism” and “the total implementation of communism” in American society. Just this morning, the anonymous writer has revealed herself as first-year Diana […]

You’re scrolling through Twitter all day anyway Perhaps your day job at McDonalds has gotten a little tiresome, and you find the act of angering people online fun. Well, have I got a job for you! Putin is paying minimum wage for you to go online and just make people mad or scared. All […]

Written By: Genevieve Ryan — geryan@ucdavis.edu

Saving money by spending money Thanksgiving break can provide a welcome interlude in Fall Quarter, allowing students to take a breath, reflect and give thanks. I’m just kidding. We don’t have Thanksgiving weekend anymore, just Black Friday weekend — the best chance for students to fill that inner void by spending inordinate sums on shit […]

Written by: Diana Olivares  — deolivaresvalencia@ucdavis.edu

Written by: ROSEY MOREARTY — rosey@morearty.org

It’s a classic conundrum Holding his arm up to his face, Tyler S. Mell, or “Nose Goes,” as he is more affectionately known by his drinking buddies, takes a good whiff. His eyes roll back in his head as a slight moan escapes his lips. They open again, concerned and searching. “I thought I used […]

Get it? When questioned by The California Aggie about the status of class cancellations and the continuation of the quarter after this week’s series of missed days, Davis administrators replied by saying it’s all still “up in the air.” “Get it?” an administrator asked The Aggie, smiling and slapping his knee. “Because, it’s like, there’s […]

Written by: GENEVIEVE RYAN — geryan@ucdavis.edu

By DIANA OLIVARES — deolivaresvalencia@ucdavis.edu