Humor

The West Wing goes to West Village This past weekend, President Donald Trump was told by his horoscope that he needed to make some changes, so he decided that Secretary of Housing and Urban Development Ben Carson was Ben CarsDONE. After kicking the House man out of the White House, Trump needed a new Secretary […]

The list is just as unorganized as the character select menu Super Smash Bros. Ultimate is unquestionably the most inclusive Smash game yet, possibly even the best Smash game released (apart from their menus — literally why did they decide to make the most irritating changes they could?). All of us who like to settle […]

By: Rosey Morearty — rosey@morearty.org

Everybody Hates Tomi Lahren! So if you guys haven’t heard, the bold and suburban political commentator and former Fox News host Tomi Lahren emerged from the fiery pits of white privilege to tweet “5 billion spent on a wall will be the BEST $5 billion taxpayers EVER spent!” After the longest government shutdown in U.S. […]

She didn’t C. (S. Lewis) it coming “Where… Where am I?” Wanda Her asked, looking at the forest surrounding her. An equine figure trotted menacingly towards Her from the shadows. “You’re in Narnia,” Gunrock said, emerging from his blanket of darkness and leaning against a lamppost. “How can that be?” Her asked. “Just a second […]

By: Rosey Morearty — rosey@morearty.org

He’s back, maybe for good Last year, The California Aggie issued a report on the dirty deeds of the now-infamous Davis Bike Blammer. After a manhunt with no resolution and a large number of minor injuries and emotional scars, the Davis Bike Blammer disappeared seemingly permanently. That is, until today. Several bike accident reports from […]

ROSEY MOREARTY — rosey@morearty.org

Can Alexa save this marriage? Every day, more information about Jeff Bezos’ infamous affair with Lauren Sanchez hits the news cycle. However, what still remains a secret are the details of his divorce from his longtime wife, MacKenzie Bezos. According to credible sources, Jeff Bezos has been putting all his trust in his virtual assistant, […]

If Noah had used this bike during the flood, he could have fit three of every animal After relentless harping by CALPIRG, Unitrans switched to using long tandem bicycles for transporting the good people of Davis. This wheely large undertaking did hit some proverbial bumps in the road. The average Unitrans bus was able to […]

Students actually take notes until professor excuses them A professor became enraged one day when his students began packing up when there were approximately three minutes of class left. He was getting to the most important part of an organic chemistry reaction when he heard a chorus of backpack zippers, shuffling papers and creaking desks. […]

“This bus is no longer in service. Have a good one!” In a monumental decision by first-year bus driver Buster Buseman, the Unitrans J Line skipped the major Alvarado stop on Tuesday morning to avoid opening the top layer of the double decker bus. The decision was made with pressure from Buseman’s charlie at the […]