Humor

It’s a classic conundrum Holding his arm up to his face, Tyler S. Mell, or “Nose Goes,” as he is more affectionately known by his drinking buddies, takes a good whiff. His eyes roll back in his head as a slight moan escapes his lips. They open again, concerned and searching. “I thought I used […]

Get it? When questioned by The California Aggie about the status of class cancellations and the continuation of the quarter after this week’s series of missed days, Davis administrators replied by saying it’s all still “up in the air.” “Get it?” an administrator asked The Aggie, smiling and slapping his knee. “Because, it’s like, there’s […]

Written by: GENEVIEVE RYAN — geryan@ucdavis.edu

By DIANA OLIVARES — deolivaresvalencia@ucdavis.edu

Professors and students respond to new policy As a part of its new “Get Aggied!” engagement initiative, which builds connections between Davis businesses and the University, the Aggie Alumni Association has designated local cafe Delta of Venus as the official office space for “cool” instructors on — though technically, off — campus. “Delta of Venus […]

Meanwhile, restaurant adds a rat crepe option “Yeaaaaah, so maybe it wasn’t a good idea? Maybe?” The public relations manager of Crepeville tried to meet my eyes, but I avoided his black beady pupils. He was pulling a small handkerchief out of his pocket nearly every few seconds to wipe the buildup of sweat on […]

By ROSEY MOREARTY — rosey@morearty.org

By GENEVIEVE RYAN — geryan@ucdavis.edu By GENEVIEVE RYAN — geryan@ucdavis.edu

The university finally enacts changes students want Following complaints that the aesthetic of campus buildings does not do enough to honor the blue-collar workforce, UC Davis made a huge announcement this week. Chancellor Gary May broke the news that the entire campus would adopt a construction-themed aesthetic in order to rectify the absolutely pathetic amount […]

By DIANA OLIVARES — deolivaresvalencia@ucdavis.edu

A view into the insanity that surrounds sweet, innocent UC Davis Since the release of our last story on the horrors of off-campus Davis, The California Aggie has reported on several more events occurring in the off-campus wasteland. Whole restaurants shut down by cockroach-rat shapeshifters with an unquenchable hunger for crepes — and blood, […]

The Great Hole has claimed its sacrifice Gesticulating wildly, as his eyebrows twitched and his face contorted, billionaire-playboy-philanthropist Noraa Snivel told me about the Great Hole. “You just don’t understand MAN!” He stood up on his large, mahogany desk, situated in the middle of his mansion. He jumped up and down, and his $400 […]