Humor
Humor: This Article is Offensive
HumorOctober 25, 2018
A detailed explanation of why this article is offensive on every possible level, and why you’re a horrible person if you aren’t deeply offended by it If you haven’t already read this article, maybe you shouldn’t. Actually, you definitely shouldn’t. You probably wouldn’t be able to handle it. In fact, I know you wouldn’t. You’re […]
Humor: Tips and tricks to get you fired on Halloween
HumorOctober 22, 2018
Blackface your way to unemployment Halloween is one of the most wonderfully pagan of all the pagan holidays. It’s a night to let loose and live out your wildest (hopefully legal) fantasies. It’s also a chance to play dress-up, and who doesn’t like that? But while the costume options are limitless, the reality is that picking […]
Humor: Surviving the off campus wasteland
HumorOctober 22, 2018
A view into the insanity that surrounds sweet, innocent UC Davis Patchy lighting. Dead silence. A wave of crime and uncertainty on the brink of collapsing down on an unsuspecting populace. To you, this must sound like the plot of a noir film from the 1950s. If this was your first thought, good effort, […]
Humor: I have invented a new sport: baseball
HumorOctober 22, 2018
I have labeled it “America’s Pastime” If there is one thing America lacks, it’s sports. We just don’t really have a lot of them! So far we only have foosball… hot-dog eating contests… those prize machines in bowling alleys where you have to use the claw to pick up your prize. Oh, also bowling. Seeing […]
Humor: An investigation into professions you absolutely cannot wear rollerblades in
HumorOctober 18, 2018
Yes, it is as disturbing as you think The issue of rollerblades in the workplace may not be something you hear about every day. In the movies, rollerblades are always portrayed as a slick and fun way for waiters and waitresses to quickly roll from table to table while perfectly balancing stacks of dishes in […]
Humor: Student with part-time job and two internships, member of four clubs and taking 21 units: “I have too much free time”
HumorOctober 15, 2018
For this student, “senioritis” comes vaccinated Everyone knows students have it difficult this time of the year. For some, it’s the first time they’ve ever lived away from home, met hundreds of people in a single day or seen a clique form and exclude them completely, leaving them utterly alone and hopeless. For others, […]
Humor: Help: There’s a spider in my bathtub, this is one BIG BOY
HumorOctober 15, 2018
Please come help NOW Oh SHIT this guy is big…Where did I put that fly swatter….F***….Why did God make spiders this big….Where is the fly swatter! There’s a gallon of gasoline on the patio….Why the f*** do I have a gallon of gasoline on the patio? I’m gonna burn this whole thing down…I can’t live […]
