Humor

A view into the insanity that surrounds sweet, innocent UC Davis Patchy lighting. Dead silence. A wave of crime and uncertainty on the brink of collapsing down on an unsuspecting populace. To you, this must sound like the plot of a noir film from the 1950s. If this was your first thought, good effort, […]

I have labeled it “America’s Pastime” If there is one thing America lacks, it’s sports. We just don’t really have a lot of them! So far we only have foosball… hot-dog eating contests… those prize machines in bowling alleys where you have to use the claw to pick up your prize. Oh, also bowling. Seeing […]

By ROSEY MOREARTY — rosey@morearty.org

By GENEVIEVE RYAN — geryan@ucdavis.edu

Yes, it is as disturbing as you think The issue of rollerblades in the workplace may not be something you hear about every day. In the movies, rollerblades are always portrayed as a slick and fun way for waiters and waitresses to quickly roll from table to table while perfectly balancing stacks of dishes in […]

For this student, “senioritis” comes vaccinated Everyone knows students have it difficult this time of the year. For some, it’s the first time they’ve ever lived away from home, met hundreds of people in a single day or seen a clique form and exclude them completely, leaving them utterly alone and hopeless. For others, […]

Please come help NOW Oh SHIT this guy is big…Where did I put that fly swatter….F***….Why did God make spiders this big….Where is the fly swatter! There’s a gallon of gasoline on the patio….Why the f*** do I have a gallon of gasoline on the patio? I’m gonna burn this whole thing down…I can’t live […]

By ROSEY MOREARTY 一 rosey@morearty.org

By GENEVIEVE RYAN — geryan@ucdavis.edu

A fun little guide to help your sheets stay unwrinkled, fresh This is Conner here with Aggie Dorm Tips, your one-stop shop for all the tricks you need to keep your dorm room fresh and tidy. Today, we’re taking a closer look at one of the most important tasks regarding room cleanliness: folding your sheets. […]

By DIANA OLIVARES — deolivares@ucdavis.edu

I have officially run out of ideas Hi, I have literally no ideas left. Which is why I’m posting this article to Facebook in order to solicit article ideas. Please email the above email address for inquiries and suggestions. I will gladly take your ideas. And by take I mean they’re my ideas now. Finders […]