Humor

Know basic Italian or reap the consequences, buddy This quarter started how every quarter starts. Professors struggled to take attendance as they read off of a roster full of nightmarish names. With every new student, you could hear the tightening of a sphincter and the quivering of a voice, both belonging to a grown man […]

A personal essay When I was a little girl in Russia, my mother used to say, “The shrimp cobbler must have tiny hands,” and I would reply, “Shrimp don’t wear shoes, Mother.” And we would settle our funny, little differences with raf coffee and bean sandwiches. But my affinity for cornbread did not develop for […]

Why aren’t we cherishing this monument? This is a joke article, alright? Okay, great. Now that we have that out of the way, when was the last time you went to the Davis United States Bicycling Hall of Fame? Never. Never is the answer. You have never been to the United States Bicycling Hall of […]

By: Diana Olivares — deolivaresvalencia@ucdavis.edu  Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed by individual cartoonists belong to the cartoonists alone and do not necessarily indicate the views and opinions held by The California Aggie.

Frankly, it was difficult to yack… I tried pushing my back against the door. At first, lightly, and then very aggressively as if the door was going to bend at my will. I wanted to be a mature college student in that instance, so I prioritized. I knew I needed to get back into my […]

By Diana Olivares — deolivares@ucdavis.edu Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed by individual cartoonists belong to the cartoonists alone and do not necessarily indicate the views and opinions held by The California Aggie.

Mittens has a long history of grifting students for treats Kimberly Upton, a second-year comparative literature major, was found by authorities last Tuesday in a fragile state with a feral tabby cat near the Voorhies fountain. The cat, identified by the alias “Mittens,” had been using Upton for treats in exchange for A’s since the […]

One bold student stands up to lie in bed Brace yourself, advocates — the social justice movement has found itself a new hero in  Bryce Daniels. Taking cues from important educational system protests of the past, Bryce is embarking on a crusade of his own against the evils of disinterest. Look out world, when Bryce […]

Written by: Ariel Hilomen — abhilomen@ucdavis.edu Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed by individual cartoonists belong to the cartoonists alone and do not necessarily indicate the views and opinions held by The California Aggie.

I mean, is it really that bad? It’s like the Buffalo Springfield song, “A thousand people in the street, singing songs and carrying signs.” Only, instead of a thousand people, there are dozens of teachers. Handfuls, really. All around the U.S., teachers are acting like mafia wise guys, demanding money and respect — in New […]

Written by: Diana Olivares — opinion@theaggie.org Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed by individual cartoonists belong to the cartoonists alone and do not necessarily indicate the views and opinions held by The California Aggie.

As I leaned in, Paul was trying to hand me a stick of peppermint gum. I cuffed my hand around my mouth and exhaled to get a good whiff. I quickly reached for the stick of gum. Turns out, we were both from the same part of the state, so we had a boring, yet […]