Humor

Both excellent breath fresheners before a potential kiss… I felt slightly transplanted out of Sacramento. The restaurant looked like it belonged in Fisherman’s Wharf because there was lots of seafood and all the men had beards. But everyone else was dressed like Taylor Swift during her “Red” era. Don’t worry, this wasn’t all just in […]

Everyone saw that, Preston Preston Troutman, a fourth-year landscape architecture major, had just made a somewhat witty remark to his buddy Clint’s anecdote about shopping for the perfect summer mandals when it happened. Troutman drew his Yoo-hoo milk box to his mouth for a sip, while puckering his smirking lips, only to stick the straw […]

Perpetrator described as white with brown curly hair, glasses and a beard The UC Davis Police Department issued an official crime alert this week notifying students and staff about a wanted man with unknown motives. The notice comes after a series of incidents occurring throughout the week involving the still-unidentified criminal “kicking moving cyclists off […]

An industry in flux flunks, gets flack The conflict between cinema purists and the emerging power of online streaming recently got a lot of media attention due to the decision by the Cannes Film Festival to ban Netflix films from competing for its prizes. Netflix responded by pulling all of its films from screening at […]

This is not a drill Sources reported Thursday that local 20-something Nate Finnegan started asking if anyone else was hearing loud sirens after receiving a text message from his long-time ex-girlfriend Brianne. “He looks like he wants to throw up,” said friend Megan Jacobs, 26, who confirmed that her friend looked like he had just […]

By: Ariel Hilomen — abhilomen@ucdavis.edu Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed by individual cartoonists belong to the cartoonists alone and do not necessarily indicate the views and opinions held by The California Aggie.

Who does he think he is? You walk in to Statistics 13 a disheveled mess. Your hair is in a frumpy knot, you’re wearing the same clothes as yesterday and you barely remembered to bring something to write with. You sit down, and there it is — supreme comfort staring you straight in the face: […]

U.S News & World Report now ranks colleges based on their school colors to give potential students more to consider This week, U.S. News & World Report confirmed what Davis students have known for a long time — that UC Davis is superior at more than just veterinary and viticulture programs. After conducting research for […]

Gunrock might have cried happy tears, if his unblinking eyes could It was a joyous day yesterday. Gunrock was reunited with his family for the first time since moving to Davis in 2003. Happy tears flowed from the eyes of Mr. Blue Man as the family hugged and kissed one another. I had the chance […]

The new meal will fill bellies but not the emptiness within During a press conference this Thursday, Taco Bell announced the launch of a new late-night food box called the “Depression Dinner.” When asked about the inspiration behind this bold step for the brand, representatives cited the Jack in the Box “Munchie Meal,” wherein the […]

By: Ariel Hilomen — abhilomen@ucdavis.edu Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed by individual cartoonists belong to the cartoonists alone and do not necessarily indicate the views and opinions held by The California Aggie.

Kohl’s sells sex No one knows where he got a shirt that cool. Target? Maybe Gap? Perhaps Kohl’s? In any case, it’s the biggest statement anyone’s ever made at this school. “This guy gets all the ladies,” Maggie Pinklerton said. “Just look at his shirt. I bet he puts it on just to take it […]