Humor

Administrative bloat goes bye-bye This tape was found in a deep, dark room, hidden in the bowels of Wellman Hall: “I walked into the room, and all I could hear was a chanting, rhythmic and cyclical. ‘Guuuuuunnnrooooooccckk… Guuuuuuuuuuunnnroooooccckkk…’ echoed off the walls of this godforsaken corner of Wellman Hall.” The tape skipped, crackling slightly. “I […]

And I lived to tell the tale Last week, I thought I was going to die. Not because my questionable habits of drinking 17 cups of ShareTea boba per day or sleeping 30 minutes a week had finally caught up with me, but because I was mansplained to. It started out innocently enough, as most […]

A new take on multitasking You’ve heard of hackers, you’ve heard of the CoHo and you’ve probably heard of “Coho Hacks.” But what you probably haven’t heard of is a combination of the three. My job today is to explain what any of that means. Commonly, when people refer to CoHo hacks, what they mean […]

Try the scenic Arboretum or Shields Library Fellas, we all know that the quarter system comes at you fast. Your time is thinned out so much that most major modeling agencies want to hire it. There’s no time to do anything, especially not to tell your sweet girlfriend about that second family you’ve had under […]

These inconveniences might surprise you! Sometimes we have days that are inconvenient. This means that the only way to cope is by choosing to release stress in a healthy way, such as talking to a friend or peer, or to release it in a better way, such as creating a listicle that chronicles said inconveniences […]

Shut the hell up, Ned Ned was feeling good today. He had the best joke ever for the bus guy. He loved the bus guy, and he loved riding the bus, and most of all he loved any opportunity he could get to show how much he knew about the 20th-century psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud. He […]

A tale of alliances and betrayal Coffee shops come and go. And while some people have personal attachments to certain cafes, the rest of the Davis population has come to accept the nature of the coffee shop industry in Davis. What does this mean? It means $7 for an espresso drink mixed with weird rules […]

UC Davis resorts to as-seen-on-TV ads to solve its age-old debacle Like a tween with a face full of acne and a million hormones doing the can-can, the arboretum’s algae holds it back from achieving true confidence. No amount of cleaning has been able to alleviate its surface flaws. However, one brave economics minor, Chad […]

We don’t host Nazis A poll published early this week revealed that “The California Aggie” is the best newspaper in all of UC Davis. Most of the competition consisted of random WordPress writers whose content was found to be vastly inferior and indicative of how our education system is failing students, even at the college […]

The Super Bowl does not tell a heart-wrenching tale of love, loss and Boston Everyone loves the Super Bowl. It’s a great time to just get together, sit with your friends (but not too close because you don’t want to give your bros the wrong impression) and turn off your brain for a solid three […]

This one’s going to leave a dent Oops, we did it again. And by “oops” I mean that somehow Davis is involved in a money-making scandal that went awry. Except this time, it’s the town of Davis and not the college — but really the two are so intertwined that it probably did have something […]

Would have been pretty sick, though This post was found on Aaron Levins’ Facebook page. I guess it’s just that I had watched “Eyes Wide Shut” last night and was doing some searching around on Facebook for any local orgies. Not my fault “Funk Night” sounds like a thinly veiled excuse for a sick, sex-crazed, […]