Humor

Funny how life doesn’t surprise you at all and happens exactly how you imagined it If you have seen the movie “Lady Bird,” then you have probably heard of UC Davis. This ag school just west of Sacramento is home to many attractions, but student passion is not one of them. Much like the protagonist […]

I can’t keep up anymore For those/most of you who don’t avidly read my articles every single week, I will quickly summarize what I will be referencing in this article. And for those of you who do read my articles every single week, please stop sending me love letters, I’m getting sick of it. Anyway, […]

2 years old and no internship? Is he even trying? One local toddler is a total failure. He’s 2 years old, and he’s barely made a LinkedIn. It’s like he didn’t even read all of those articles about how much more competitive the job market is getting. It’s almost like he can’t even read at […]

Fingerblast that keyboard Davis Cru, the campus crusade for Christ, has teamed up with the dog people coalition to spread the ideals of diversity, inclusivity and equity: D.I.E. “The pen is mightier than the sword, but both work just as well stabbed into the throat of a non-believer,” said half-poodle, half-human Dalta, who was removing […]

Administrative bloat goes bye-bye This tape was found in a deep, dark room, hidden in the bowels of Wellman Hall: “I walked into the room, and all I could hear was a chanting, rhythmic and cyclical. ‘Guuuuuunnnrooooooccckk… Guuuuuuuuuuunnnroooooccckkk…’ echoed off the walls of this godforsaken corner of Wellman Hall.” The tape skipped, crackling slightly. “I […]

And I lived to tell the tale Last week, I thought I was going to die. Not because my questionable habits of drinking 17 cups of ShareTea boba per day or sleeping 30 minutes a week had finally caught up with me, but because I was mansplained to. It started out innocently enough, as most […]

A new take on multitasking You’ve heard of hackers, you’ve heard of the CoHo and you’ve probably heard of “Coho Hacks.” But what you probably haven’t heard of is a combination of the three. My job today is to explain what any of that means. Commonly, when people refer to CoHo hacks, what they mean […]

Try the scenic Arboretum or Shields Library Fellas, we all know that the quarter system comes at you fast. Your time is thinned out so much that most major modeling agencies want to hire it. There’s no time to do anything, especially not to tell your sweet girlfriend about that second family you’ve had under […]

These inconveniences might surprise you! Sometimes we have days that are inconvenient. This means that the only way to cope is by choosing to release stress in a healthy way, such as talking to a friend or peer, or to release it in a better way, such as creating a listicle that chronicles said inconveniences […]

Shut the hell up, Ned Ned was feeling good today. He had the best joke ever for the bus guy. He loved the bus guy, and he loved riding the bus, and most of all he loved any opportunity he could get to show how much he knew about the 20th-century psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud. He […]

A tale of alliances and betrayal Coffee shops come and go. And while some people have personal attachments to certain cafes, the rest of the Davis population has come to accept the nature of the coffee shop industry in Davis. What does this mean? It means $7 for an espresso drink mixed with weird rules […]

UC Davis resorts to as-seen-on-TV ads to solve its age-old debacle Like a tween with a face full of acne and a million hormones doing the can-can, the arboretum’s algae holds it back from achieving true confidence. No amount of cleaning has been able to alleviate its surface flaws. However, one brave economics minor, Chad […]