Humor

By: Elliot White — opinion@theaggie.org   Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed by individual cartoonists belong to the cartoonists alone and do not necessarily indicate the views and opinions held by The California Aggie.

Rats found in trash cans reveal that students have been wasting good meat Allegations have arisen that the Dining Commons puts food in its garbage. “I went in expecting the usual,” first-year Christian Romero said. “But instead of used hypodermic needles and baby diapers, Tomato Street Grill was serving mostly real meat.” “We found some […]

And it could never cost as much as the collective American emotional turmoil, either One glorious day we will look to the south and see upon the horizon a monolith which stretches far into the sky. On that day no man, woman or child seeking to escape poverty and find a better life will be […]

Nothing says “I’m sorry” like an expensive gift If you thought UC Davis didn’t care about you before, prepare to be proven wrong. Yes, the rumors are true: UC Davis has decided to gift its students not one, but two awkwardly placed massage chairs on the second floor of the MU. You might be asking […]

It’s that time of year again If I calculated this weird system of weeks correctly, I believe finals are approaching. But I also could be wrong and might be missing a final as we speak. I don’t know. Anyway, it’s that time of year again when everything you’ve had no time to do actually has […]

By: Julie Torres — opinion@theaggie.org   Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed by individual cartoonists belong to the cartoonists alone and do not necessarily indicate the views and opinions held by The California Aggie.

A loveless existence on a dark, dusty shelf will no longer do for one library book Twenty years ago, one book was swept off its feet and out of a box in a bookstore. It was promised a new, beautiful life. A statue of a guy holding a shoe, a reading room with an amazingly […]

The University does not care about you INTERVIEWER (IN): Hi, Chancellor May. Thank you for speaking with me today. First of all, are there any exciting new plans for UC Davis? GARY MAY (GM): We’ve been considering moving UC Davis into the middle of the ocean. That way we can call it the International University […]

By: Elliot White — opinion@theaggie.org   Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed by individual cartoonists belong to the cartoonists alone and do not necessarily indicate the views and opinions held by The California Aggie.

Happy Holidays to everyone except men With the holiday season just around the corner, you’ve probably got a lot on your mind: what gifts to get your family, where you want to travel during winter break and how it’s possible that men still don’t know how to respect women in the workplace. Thinking about all […]

Humans are about to get stuffed After a very deadly and delicious Thanksgiving, the turkeys who evaded being devoured are now regrouping to strike back against the humans who ate their families. The turkeys were incensed by the holiday, whose historic origins were not only problematic in their estimations, but also needlessly excessive. The turkeys […]

Where there’s a will, there’s a way It’s often easy to get into the habit of wearing sweats every day during Winter Quarter as it pours rain nonstop and you question why nobody explained to you that weather happens in Davis. But I urge you to rethink this. People say winter is “cuffing season,” and […]