Humor

Cartoon: He’s making a list, he’s checking it twice     By: Julie Torres — opinion@theaggie.org   Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed by individual cartoonists belong to the cartoonists alone and do not necessarily indicate the views and opinions held by The California Aggie.

#masturgate Content Warning: This piece contains graphic sexual content which some may find upsetting.    Long, but worth it — unlike most of these dicks: Following his non-apology apology, Louis C.K. has announced a comedy tour that will come into or onto UC Davis in 2018. “I just want to put myself out there in […]

Local charmer is on the hunt for love and blood You’re scrolling through Tinder. Nothing is standing out to you. Profile after profile, you just see pictures of dudes hiking with some bio about how they have a dog. It’s cliche, and you’re sick of it. You want a man’s man. The kind of man […]

The nightmare before pass times As the month of November began to eerily creep up on everyone, the usual talk of midterms and “I’m so stressed over how many things I have to do” dialogue slowed to a stop for a quick moment, when pass times were projected to come out. Students began to stress […]

By: Elliot White — opinion@theaggie.org   Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed by individual cartoonists belong to the cartoonists alone and do not necessarily indicate the views and opinions held by The California Aggie.

By: Julie Torres — opinion@theaggie.org   Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed by individual cartoonists belong to the cartoonists alone and do not necessarily indicate the views and opinions held by The California Aggie.

The most contagious disease at UC Davis is friendship It’s a beautiful thing when two very different people can come together and forget their differences. Though we wish we were talking about Linda Katehi and Gary May, we’re actually  referring to a student and professor duo who realized they had one inspiring thing in common: […]

The time god will have his way with us all someday I lie on the wall all day, tick-tock, tick-tock. Time is not only an abstract concept, but also a living part of me. It rules my movements, mercessily trudging on into eternity. But what happens when you break? What happens when the evil time […]

America’s most treasured food fanatic will come to UC Davis to treat our cows right America’s sweetheart, Guy Fieri, is on a new quest: Diners, Drive-Ins, Dives and Davis. That’s right, you swaggy Aggie. The flaming bowling shirt himself is coming to this cowtown to bless our cattle. When Guy Fieri was born out of […]

By: Elliot White — opinion@theaggie.org   Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed by individual cartoonists belong to the cartoonists alone and do not necessarily indicate the views and opinions held by The California Aggie.

Welcome to the wasteland “I often find myself wanting to die, and it’s not even the crushing depression — it’s the UC Davis environment,” said optimistic nihilist Drew Hanson in the third person. When asked what specifically it was about the environment, Hanson said, “To quote the Bret Easton Ellis book ‘American Psycho,’ ‘I feel […]

University decides to supply “woman products” over “every-student necessities” If you’re reading this, you’ve probably tried to get snacks at the Plan B vending machine at the ARC, only to realize that it does not, in fact, dispense snacks. Actually, this machine only dispenses broken dreams. Deceiving? Yes. A rookie mistake? Also yes. But we’ve […]