Humor

Criminal who’s inexplicably still an educator found yet another way to scam students After Linda Katehi became unemployed (re: “fired,” except in a nice way that preserves her already flimsy reputation), she needed to find a new hustle. The whole moonlighting-at-textbook-publishers thing wasn’t gonna cut it now that she didn’t have a position of power […]

An investigation of the drinking culture in Davis I will preface this by saying I am in no way a science major, nor do i intend to do anything science-related ever. But from time to time I like to dabble in the idea of it. Over the last three years, I have conducted extensive case […]

By: Julie Torres Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed by individual cartoonists belong to the cartoonists alone and do not necessarily indicate the views and opinions held by The California Aggie.

Amazon becomes the saving grace of the quarter system. Amazon has been upping its game lately, whether it’s through buying Whole Foods (RIP) or, more recently, becoming the Superman for sad quarter system boyz everywhere. Yes, you heard it here first: Amazon is offering same-day delivery on a will to live. Everyone was dazzled when […]

By: Elliot White   Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed by individual cartoonists belong to the cartoonists alone and do not necessarily indicate the views and opinions held by The California Aggie.

Trump issues 32nd executive order of the month Donald Trump, POTUS, or, as he calls himself, “Poitus,” has issued a royal decree to end homelessness and hunger through legalized cannibalism — a dynamic and progressive approach that he believes will clean up the streets. “I don’t see why these problems took so long to get […]

Just when you thought campus couldn’t get any better After much heated debate, UC Davis has decided that it will complete the construction of Cuarto Area by doing the exact opposite — not completing it and pushing it somewhere else. “Yeah, we thought about not doing anything with the property, considering there’s technically nothing wrong […]

Get up off that knee and respect the troops, a-hole Content warning: This story contains sexual content and profanity.    Dear reader, Now I don’t know if you’ve heard of Colin KaperDICK, or maybe one of these other darn fangled “footballers,” but wait till I tell you about them. They were disrespecting the Founding Fathers […]

Attire that says you care If you’re a student who has ever been to office hours, you probably haven’t put much thought into what you were wearing. You probably showed up in whatever outfit you designed to sustain you in the three different climates you experience in a day at Davis. However, I urge you […]

Without Carl’s Jr., UC Davis gets some #fresh strips With the recent renovations of the Silo, several changes were made to the food supplied there. Recipes were altered to cater to the new independence that UC Davis feels by slapping in Spokes Grill in place of Carl’s Jr. and Pizza Hut — and the students […]

By: Elliot White   Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed by individual cartoonists belong to the cartoonists alone and do not necessarily indicate the views and opinions held by The California Aggie.

Researchers find Earth would sell for more in a less-destroyed state After hours of complex calculations done by a team of experts President Donald Trump called “some of the best math heads I know,” it has been revealed that the earth’s salvage value is worth more now than if it were destroyed further. “It would […]