Humor

It’s that time of year again If I calculated this weird system of weeks correctly, I believe finals are approaching. But I also could be wrong and might be missing a final as we speak. I don’t know. Anyway, it’s that time of year again when everything you’ve had no time to do actually has […]

By: Julie Torres — opinion@theaggie.org   Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed by individual cartoonists belong to the cartoonists alone and do not necessarily indicate the views and opinions held by The California Aggie.

A loveless existence on a dark, dusty shelf will no longer do for one library book Twenty years ago, one book was swept off its feet and out of a box in a bookstore. It was promised a new, beautiful life. A statue of a guy holding a shoe, a reading room with an amazingly […]

The University does not care about you INTERVIEWER (IN): Hi, Chancellor May. Thank you for speaking with me today. First of all, are there any exciting new plans for UC Davis? GARY MAY (GM): We’ve been considering moving UC Davis into the middle of the ocean. That way we can call it the International University […]

By: Elliot White — opinion@theaggie.org   Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed by individual cartoonists belong to the cartoonists alone and do not necessarily indicate the views and opinions held by The California Aggie.

Happy Holidays to everyone except men With the holiday season just around the corner, you’ve probably got a lot on your mind: what gifts to get your family, where you want to travel during winter break and how it’s possible that men still don’t know how to respect women in the workplace. Thinking about all […]

Humans are about to get stuffed After a very deadly and delicious Thanksgiving, the turkeys who evaded being devoured are now regrouping to strike back against the humans who ate their families. The turkeys were incensed by the holiday, whose historic origins were not only problematic in their estimations, but also needlessly excessive. The turkeys […]

Where there’s a will, there’s a way It’s often easy to get into the habit of wearing sweats every day during Winter Quarter as it pours rain nonstop and you question why nobody explained to you that weather happens in Davis. But I urge you to rethink this. People say winter is “cuffing season,” and […]

Cartoon: He’s making a list, he’s checking it twice     By: Julie Torres — opinion@theaggie.org   Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed by individual cartoonists belong to the cartoonists alone and do not necessarily indicate the views and opinions held by The California Aggie.

#masturgate Content Warning: This piece contains graphic sexual content which some may find upsetting.    Long, but worth it — unlike most of these dicks: Following his non-apology apology, Louis C.K. has announced a comedy tour that will come into or onto UC Davis in 2018. “I just want to put myself out there in […]

Local charmer is on the hunt for love and blood You’re scrolling through Tinder. Nothing is standing out to you. Profile after profile, you just see pictures of dudes hiking with some bio about how they have a dog. It’s cliche, and you’re sick of it. You want a man’s man. The kind of man […]

The nightmare before pass times As the month of November began to eerily creep up on everyone, the usual talk of midterms and “I’m so stressed over how many things I have to do” dialogue slowed to a stop for a quick moment, when pass times were projected to come out. Students began to stress […]