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Humor

Humor: UC sues Trump over DACA: “Do you know how much money those students give us?”

HumorOctober 12, 2017
The University doesn’t care about you. The University of California has filed a lawsuit against the Trump Administration for unlawfully repealing DACA, arguing that 800,000 students (or as the UC calls them, monetary contributors) would be lost at the whim of an executive order. Janet Napolitano, the President of the UC, claimed that the executive […]

Cartoon: Always looking on the bright side

HumorOctober 10, 2017
Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed by individual cartoonists belong to the cartoonists alone and do not necessarily indicate the views and opinions held by The California Aggie.

Humor: Escaped lab rats found in DC food, students find it tastes better

HumorOctober 10, 2017
Rat meat brings flavor, possibility of plague to Tercero After a catastrophic two inches of rain — more than the Davis area has seen in months which have felt like years — the H. West Laboratory for Experimental Procedures suffered a power shortage, leading to the escape of hundreds of lab rats. The rats were […]

Humor: Davis announces iClicker X with facial recognition, students must now take own iClickers to class

HumorOctober 10, 2017
A sad day for students everywhere On the ten year anniversary of iClicker, CEO Bob Trabajo announced the iClicker X with glass backing and facial recognition. “We’ve truly done it this time” Trabajo said. “We’ve made it so that students will no longer be able to take their friends’ iClickers to class, while also creating […]

Humor: Student finally figures out “Gary May” is name of chancellor and not an unfinished sentence

HumorOctober 9, 2017
What may Gary do next? First-year student Grace Hackie could be heard yelling the question “Gary may WHAT?” last Thursday into her acai bowl, which she received in exchange for one punch in the face. Hackie’s scream rang across the CoHo, and it was clear that UC Davis’ new chancellor was the origin of her […]

Humor: For sale: textbook, used, like, once

HumorOctober 9, 2017
A brief story of tragedy The cold light of the waiting room was piercing. I fumbled with my keys in my pocket. It had been hours. There was a line at the door. I was awaiting news. It only took something simple like this to get worked up. I had about $100 left to my […]

Cartoon: Financial Aid

HumorOctober 8, 2017
By: Julie Torres Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed by individual cartoonists belong to the cartoonists alone and do not necessarily indicate the views and opinions held by The California Aggie.

Humor: Five ways to ask a fellow Aggie if you can sit with them at the CoHo

HumorOctober 8, 2017
Solutions to the problem no one is addressing It can be daunting to approach a stranger and ask to sit with them, but with the recent influx of admitted students to UC Davis, space at the CoHo has become rare and highly prized. If you’re lucky enough to get there at the right moment, which […]

Humor: Student starts club for cricket, fake sport made by globalists to push deep state’s agenda

HumorOctober 5, 2017
CRICKET IS NOT REAL. FAKE NEWS. Sidney James, a second-year communications major, has taken the initiative to start a club on campus in an attempt to bring together students of all backgrounds and passions for their mutual love of one thing: cricket. The Aggie cornered James outside of her class at SciLec to get more […]

Humor: UC Davis now No. 1 in Cabbage Patch agriculture

HumorOctober 5, 2017
The Aggies produce the freshest babies in the game UC Davis is no stranger to agricultural success: it has killed it with olive oil, saved the tomato industry and continued to make amazing wine. However, it has long been striving to win the title of “No. 1 Cabbage Patch in the Lands.” Finally, with this […]

Humor: Climate change — Hoax, voodoo magic or both?

HumorOctober 3, 2017
The Aggie asks the important questions about global warming There has recently been an abundance of natural disasters across America, prompting the question: Could it be possible that climate change actually exists? Hard to say. While it’s so easy to call these unprecedented and clearly warm weather-driven patterns the result of climate change, The Aggie […]

Before Gary May, an unsuccessful attempt was made at a “student-built” chancellor

HumorOctober 2, 2017
By Julie Torres (This article is humor and/or satire, and its content is purely fictional. The story and the names of “sources” are fictionalized.)