Humor

America’s most treasured food fanatic will come to UC Davis to treat our cows right America’s sweetheart, Guy Fieri, is on a new quest: Diners, Drive-Ins, Dives and Davis. That’s right, you swaggy Aggie. The flaming bowling shirt himself is coming to this cowtown to bless our cattle. When Guy Fieri was born out of […]

By: Elliot White — opinion@theaggie.org   Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed by individual cartoonists belong to the cartoonists alone and do not necessarily indicate the views and opinions held by The California Aggie.

Welcome to the wasteland “I often find myself wanting to die, and it’s not even the crushing depression — it’s the UC Davis environment,” said optimistic nihilist Drew Hanson in the third person. When asked what specifically it was about the environment, Hanson said, “To quote the Bret Easton Ellis book ‘American Psycho,’ ‘I feel […]

University decides to supply “woman products” over “every-student necessities” If you’re reading this, you’ve probably tried to get snacks at the Plan B vending machine at the ARC, only to realize that it does not, in fact, dispense snacks. Actually, this machine only dispenses broken dreams. Deceiving? Yes. A rookie mistake? Also yes. But we’ve […]

The really inconvenient truth Unfortunately this week’s humor article veers a little too close to the actual truth, so I’ll try to keep that distinction through making light of a serious matter. If you’re offended by the idiocy behind my logic, I assure you that I do believe in global warming. But at the same […]

Finding meaning in advertising for a fraternity I was blown down today. Or, maybe, yesterday; I can’t be sure. The wind took up a great gust, and the people on campus charged with maintaining my condition had left me a telegram: “SORRY, DON’T FEEL LIKE PUTTING YOU BACK UP. HAVE TO WAIT THE WEEKEND OUT.” […]

By: Julie Torres — opinion@theaggie.org Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed by individual cartoonists belong to the cartoonists alone and do not necessarily indicate the views and opinions held by The California Aggie.

Escaping monsters from the Upside Down proves less panic-inducing than a midterm In the wake of the second season of “Stranger Things,” everyone is going to be associating bikes with the ragtag group of tweens around which the show circles. Davis students refused to lose their title of “bike lords” without a fight and thus […]

It’s like a videogame: each civilian counts as one of his lives President Trump has taken the week off to spend time in the White House arcade after finding out that his head was up his ass. He tried brown-nosing the media only to learn that he still has no hindsight. Embarrassed and red in […]

By: Elliot White — opinion@theaggie.org Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed by individual cartoonists belong to the cartoonists alone and do not necessarily indicate the views and opinions held by The California Aggie.

Yet another luxury grocery store bites the dust Building trust back up in a relationship can be a very challenging thing, especially if the trust was built on the assumption of a certain luxury grocery store always being around. This probably sounds like a problem almost any person can relate to, but what I’m referring […]

“It was a part of our history.” Given the events of the past year, UC Davis students have been clamoring for the removal of the Pepper Spray Policeman statue, a beautiful and elegant statue with a classical design. It commemorates the historic event of “The Pepper Spray,” an event that proclaims the power and sovereignty […]