Humor

They are just so ugly and unlucky   By SABRINA FIGUEROA — sfigueroaavila@ucdavis.edu   It was a beautiful morning. The sun was glistening and rays beamed through the tree leaves, making odd-shaped shadows on the sidewalk. I was walking to Trader Joe’s, listening to “Unwritten” by Natasha Bedingfield in my headphones and humming along. I […]

Will Sisyphus succeed in ending his story?   By ABHINAYA KASAGANI— akasagani@ucdavis.edu   Sisyphus is having trouble conceiving an ending for his latest story, unable to shirk the feeling that his current draft leaves something to be desired.  As a man once condemned to roll a boulder up a mountain for the rest of eternity, […]

A reflection of Gunrock’s time at UC Davis   By ELLIE NOH — eenoh@ucdavis.edu   After much debate among students on who the real mascot of UC Davis is, it seems as though Gunrock has lost this battle. Gunrock, the beloved mascot, has officially decided to retire. As many students mourn his loss, it is […]

An eavesdropper’s guide to philosophical banter   By NEVAEH KARRAKER— nakarraker@ucdavis.edu   I’m a very nosy person, and the amount of gossip I’ve overheard simply because of unconcerned, noisy people is practically absurd — especially at coffee shops.  Today, I chose Mishka’s, a café enclosed by cinnabar red walls, filled with warm lights and the […]

The buses are so wise   By ALLISON KELEHER — adkeleher@ucdavis.edu   After a long and grueling day on the UC Davis campus, with the sun having set many hours ago, I decided it was time to depart — my beautiful red chariot awaited me. As I stumbled over my own feet to the Silo […]

Do they hate you? Love you? A secret third thing?   By MADISON SEEMAN — meseeeman@ucdavis.edu   Nearly 30 minutes into my three-hour-long computer lab, I felt a strong disturbance in the vibes. Something was boring to me, strong enough to bypass all three layers of my incredibly cozy outfit. It was the kind of […]

How will this impact my daily omelet?   By ALLISON KELEHER — adkeleher@ucdavis.edu   Late one night, I left the library around closing time (since I am a nerd), and I noticed something peculiar in the distance. Looking toward Mrak Hall, I saw a team of doctors in hazmat suits rushing toward the Eye on […]

It’s rough out here   By ALLISON KELEHER — adkeleher@ucdavis.edu   The other day, I was taking a stroll through the Memorial Union (MU) Quad when I looked to my right and saw Gunrock lying face down in the grass. His shoulders were shuddering and there appeared to be a pool of tears collecting beneath […]

They will live happily ever after   By ALLISON KELEHER — adkeleher@ucdavis.edu   Once upon a time, in a land far, far away called Davis, California, two bright and shiny red buses were born. Little bus squeaks filled the air as they took their first breaths. On this day, in adjacent bus hospital rooms, two […]

A heart that bows to no one but my love   By NEVAEH KARRAKER— nakarraker@ucdavis.edu   To all those weary of modern dating,   We, the hopeless romantics, pronounce that the world is in a state where chivalry is dead. Standards have been reduced so much that people accept the absolute bare minimum from their […]

What is ‘the huzz?’ I’m too old for this   By MADISON SEEMAN — meseeman@ucdavis.edu There comes a time in everyone’s life when they must realize their generation is no longer the baby of the family. For so long, Generation Z reigned supreme; We made the slang no one else understood and ruled apps like […]

With these tips, who needs to touch grass?    By MADISON SEEMAN — meseeman@ucdavis.edu   We live in rough times. Between today’s news, yesterday’s news, tomorrow’s news and the 10-week sprint that is the quarter system, there is a lot to process. When the going gets tough, it is important to put your needs first […]