Humor

They will live happily ever after   By ALLISON KELEHER — adkeleher@ucdavis.edu   Once upon a time, in a land far, far away called Davis, California, two bright and shiny red buses were born. Little bus squeaks filled the air as they took their first breaths. On this day, in adjacent bus hospital rooms, two […]

A heart that bows to no one but my love   By NEVAEH KARRAKER— nakarraker@ucdavis.edu   To all those weary of modern dating,   We, the hopeless romantics, pronounce that the world is in a state where chivalry is dead. Standards have been reduced so much that people accept the absolute bare minimum from their […]

What is ‘the huzz?’ I’m too old for this   By MADISON SEEMAN — meseeman@ucdavis.edu There comes a time in everyone’s life when they must realize their generation is no longer the baby of the family. For so long, Generation Z reigned supreme; We made the slang no one else understood and ruled apps like […]

With these tips, who needs to touch grass?    By MADISON SEEMAN — meseeman@ucdavis.edu   We live in rough times. Between today’s news, yesterday’s news, tomorrow’s news and the 10-week sprint that is the quarter system, there is a lot to process. When the going gets tough, it is important to put your needs first […]

Please consider enlisting as a barista to help     By ALLISON KELEHER — adkeleher@ucdavis.edu   In the wake of the protein menu release, there has been an unforeseeable surge in demand at all of the on-campus Peet’s Coffee locations. Despite the cold weather, these muscular men make their way to Peet’s in their gym shorts […]

Do you all actually like alcohol or is it all an elaborate ruse?   By MADISON SEEMAN— meseeman@ucdavis.edu   LED lights, red solo cups and the worst acoustics possible filled a room holding 40 sweaty, drunk and sleep-deprived college students. Everyone else was drinking, and the party was in full swing; Noah was eyeing his […]

The Rizzler (me) has spoken   By ALLISON KELEHER — adkeleher@ucdavis.edu   UC Davis is a well-known institution with many bright students and faculty who support the advancement of higher education. With that being said, as a student of this university, I feel it is my duty to share with you the brain rot that […]

Student drives himself insane over Memorial Union pizza bagel   By ALLISON KELEHER — adkeleher@ucdavis.edu   My poor friend, Dwayne, a geology major, took some much-needed respite from instruction during the winter break — needed because he spent all of fall quarter obsessing over pizza bagels. The sad thing is that he started the fall […]

UC Davis student bravely speaks out against American tipping culture   By Tara Romero — tcrome@ucdavis.edu   If you’re tired of the barista flipping their iPad around with a tip screen, this one’s for you.  Now, I get a coffee every morning as a cute, little start-of-the-day routine. Yet, every morning, they turn that iPad […]

Do social media users wearing his profile picture really know his heart?   By MADISON SEEMAN— meseeman@ucdavis.edu   Snoopy is everywhere. He’s on the face of chocolate bars, the front of fashionable tote bags, the shelves of CVS and all over my X feed. At 84 years old, Snoopy might just be the hippest boomer […]

Studies indicate that having an enemy is actually good for you   By MADISON SEEMAN— meseeman@ucdavis.edu   As children, we’re often discouraged from using the word “hate.” It’s a “strong” word, adults tell us. But I say that now is the time for strong words; We’ve been told for far too long that hatred kills […]

Researchers visiting UC Davis are unsatisfied with their catering options   By ALLISON KELEHER — adkeleher@ucdavis.edu   Recently, the Department of Agricultural and Resource Economics (ARE) hosted three traveling researchers. It was a pleasant affair composed of a guest lecture, several meetings and an ending presentation. Many connections were made and networks were expanded. An […]