Humor

Please consider enlisting as a barista to help     By ALLISON KELEHER — adkeleher@ucdavis.edu   In the wake of the protein menu release, there has been an unforeseeable surge in demand at all of the on-campus Peet’s Coffee locations. Despite the cold weather, these muscular men make their way to Peet’s in their gym shorts […]

Do you all actually like alcohol or is it all an elaborate ruse?   By MADISON SEEMAN— meseeman@ucdavis.edu   LED lights, red solo cups and the worst acoustics possible filled a room holding 40 sweaty, drunk and sleep-deprived college students. Everyone else was drinking, and the party was in full swing; Noah was eyeing his […]

The Rizzler (me) has spoken   By ALLISON KELEHER — adkeleher@ucdavis.edu   UC Davis is a well-known institution with many bright students and faculty who support the advancement of higher education. With that being said, as a student of this university, I feel it is my duty to share with you the brain rot that […]

Student drives himself insane over Memorial Union pizza bagel   By ALLISON KELEHER — adkeleher@ucdavis.edu   My poor friend, Dwayne, a geology major, took some much-needed respite from instruction during the winter break — needed because he spent all of fall quarter obsessing over pizza bagels. The sad thing is that he started the fall […]

UC Davis student bravely speaks out against American tipping culture   By Tara Romero — tcrome@ucdavis.edu   If you’re tired of the barista flipping their iPad around with a tip screen, this one’s for you.  Now, I get a coffee every morning as a cute, little start-of-the-day routine. Yet, every morning, they turn that iPad […]

Do social media users wearing his profile picture really know his heart?   By MADISON SEEMAN— meseeman@ucdavis.edu   Snoopy is everywhere. He’s on the face of chocolate bars, the front of fashionable tote bags, the shelves of CVS and all over my X feed. At 84 years old, Snoopy might just be the hippest boomer […]

Studies indicate that having an enemy is actually good for you   By MADISON SEEMAN— meseeman@ucdavis.edu   As children, we’re often discouraged from using the word “hate.” It’s a “strong” word, adults tell us. But I say that now is the time for strong words; We’ve been told for far too long that hatred kills […]

Researchers visiting UC Davis are unsatisfied with their catering options   By ALLISON KELEHER — adkeleher@ucdavis.edu   Recently, the Department of Agricultural and Resource Economics (ARE) hosted three traveling researchers. It was a pleasant affair composed of a guest lecture, several meetings and an ending presentation. Many connections were made and networks were expanded. An […]

Why would you want to eat something so sexy?    By ALLISON KELEHER — adkeleher@ucdavis.edu   To whom it may concern:   I don’t know about you, but I am tired of eating turkey every year at Thanksgiving. Frankly, it’s unoriginal and boring. Why not spice things up with a nice smoked trout? Ugh, I’m […]

They’ll get back together in a week   By ALLISON KELEHER — adkeleher@ucdavis.edu   Just when I thought the Unitrans bus lines were in harmony again, there appears to be more drama. One of my sources in the bus garage informed me that the M bus has been seen sobbing in the corner at night […]

Next time you go to the Craft Center, make sure you say hi   By ALLISON KELEHER — adkeleher@ucdavis.edu   The other day, I went to the ceramics room in the Craft Center to visit all of the artistic people here at UC Davis. As an accounting student, I try to keep in touch with […]

He knows what he likes   By ALLISON KELEHER — adkeleher@ucdavis.edu   I’ve spent the entirety of this quarter trying to figure out my professor. On the first day of class, he gave us a two-hour lecture on his life story, which isn’t entirely unusual, because plenty of professors will choose to do that on […]