The buses are so wise
By ALLISON KELEHER — adkeleher@ucdavis.edu
After a long and grueling day on the UC Davis campus, with the sun having set many hours ago, I decided it was time to depart — my beautiful red chariot awaited me. As I stumbled over my own feet to the Silo bus terminal, I dreamt of the bed I was going home to.
I boarded the bus and took a seat in the very back corner. Nestled underneath my backpack, I waited for the bus to take off into the night. With a loud squeak, the bus left the station to take me home. This bus and I embark on this journey every night, so I’ve started to understand its rhythm. The braking and acceleration rocked me back and forth, like a little baby in a cradle. Tonight, I couldn’t fight the sleep that washed over me.
BAM. I woke up startled, in a random parking lot in the middle of nowhere. Farmland stretched out for miles in every direction. The only thing I could see was a beautiful double-decker Unitrans bus. It looked like one of those vintage ones that they drag out for special occasions on campus.
This seemed like a one-way ticket to getting kidnapped, so I tried to look for a way out of the situation. Sadly, I heard animal noises coming from the farmland, so that was not happening. I warily made my way over to the double-decker bus. As I got within five feet of the bus, it sputtered to life and the lights turned on. Still creepy, but I pushed forward toward the bus. As I took a step onto the threshold, the bus groaned with my weight, making me feel a little awkward.
“Why are you bothering me at this hour,” a looming voice with a British accent said above me.
“Who said that?!” I asked in fear.
“I’m the Ghost of Unitrans Past,” the British voice boomed. “Something must be troubling you, otherwise I wouldn’t be here.”
This did indeed trouble me, because I had no idea what could be troubling me. I stewed for a minute before something came to me: I had a conversation with my mom earlier today about whether UC Davis was the correct university to attend. I have been feeling homesick lately, and I’m worried that I made the wrong decision.
“That was not the wrong decision,” the British bus said, as if it could read my mind. “Look at how far you have come to be here. You have made so many friends and learned so much about yourself.”
I nodded my head in agreement since he was trying to make me feel better, but it was still not making the sinking feeling go away.
“Do you remember that one time when you slept through your midterm and almost failed your biochem class? Remember how you felt when all of your friends rallied around you to help you study for the final?” the British bus asked.
This was a great memory, but I wasn’t sure how the British bus knew about this. Nonetheless, this trip down memory lane made me start to cry. The British bus was right. UC Davis has been a wonderful place for me and has helped me build my own community.
POP.
The bus vanished into thin air, and I was left alone in the parking lot once again. But now, there was another bus standing just a couple of feet away. This bus was only one level tall, appearing to be the classic Unitrans bus I know and love.
When I stepped onto this bus, the engine rumbled, the lights flicked on and the air started blowing out of the vents. This bus felt so familiar that I thought it was the same bus I was on earlier (before I got dumped in this parking lot). I ran over to my spot in the back, but my backpack was nowhere to be found. Ugh.
“HAHAHA you got so excited, didn’t you?” a voice said above me. “I am the Ghost of Unitrans Present, silly.”
I rolled my eyes at these theatrics and waited for my next life lesson. However, before I could ask for any advice, the bus shrieked.
“GIRL, you better lock in — you have a midterm tomorrow!”
POP. This bus vanished too. I guess that was my lesson? Well, I was back in my parking lot, but this time I was completely alone. That is until I turned around, and there was a bus creeping up on me from behind. It was so quiet that I couldn’t hear its engine running. I ran around to the entrance, which opened with a satisfying “swish” noise. As I entered this bus, all I could hear was a gentle humming and nothing else. Filled with awe, I looked around at the sleek design of this bus. Everything looked like it was made from stainless steel and polished for my arrival. I walked up and down the bus to see all of its modern intricacies.
“Hello. Sorry to interrupt, but I am the Ghost of Unitrans Future,” an alluring female voice said above me. This voice was strangely smooth and calming. “How can I help you?”
“Will I be successful after I graduate? WAIT — will I graduate?” I asked.
“Unfortunately, I am not your crystal ball,” the voice purred (she lowkey ate with that). “But I will tell you that only you can define your success. No one else can do that for you.”
With that, another satisfying POP left me alone in this strange parking lot. However, this time, I fell toward the asphalt headfirst. I was anticipating the nasty fall, but, as my head hit the floor, I was magically transported back to the bus taking me home earlier.
My eyes blinked open, and I was face-to-face with a Unitrans driver. It was still dark outside, but now we were all the way back at the Silo terminal.
“You’re going to need to leave the bus, this was the last route for the night,” the driver said.
I stumbled off of the bus with my backpack in hand. Without any time to process what just happened, the bus driver immediately drove away with my chariot. With a sigh, I pulled out my phone and called a Safe Ride to take me home.
Written by: Allison Keleher — adkeleher@ucdavis.edu
Disclaimer: (This article is humor and/or satire, and its content is purely fictional. The story and the names of “sources” are fictionalized.)
