Humor: Extra week of winter break gives students additional time to do absolutely nothing

How three UC Davis students productively wasted their winter break

UC students were treated to an extra week of winter break this school year. The additional time off gave many UC Davis students the chance to accomplish a lot — a chance most of them squandered by doing absolutely nothing. The California Aggie talked to some students about the various ways that they wasted their long break.

“I wouldn’t say I did absolutely nothing with the extra time,” said Dwayne “The John” Rockson, a third-year linguistics major and pillowcase impersonator. “I bought myself a pair of socks. That’s not nothing. I mean, I lost one of the socks, but at least I put myself out there and bought them in the first place.”

So brave.

But Rockson wasn’t the only student who failed to use their winter break productively.

“No, actually I was pretty on top of my stuff,” said Amanda Starbuck, a second-year soil science minor and human umbrella. “I walked my dog every day. I mean like, maybe I didn’t actually ‘walk’ her, but I did think about doing it almost every single day. And I’m honestly proud of myself for that.”

Inspiring.

Although these students shared some truly incredible stories about what they did over their breaks, one story stands out from the rest.

“I wanted to do something that was just sort of unprecedented,” said Sharon Swallow, a fourth-year animal science major who enjoys being walked by dogs. “So I just slept. The entire break. Through everything. Christmas, New Years, the birth of my son. You name it, I was fast asleep.”

How did the people in Swallow’s life respond to her historic accomplishment?

“I know some people were going to call me lazy, including everyone in my family, who aren’t really talking to me right now. Also, my boyfriend isn’t super happy with me. Perhaps I should have been awake to, you know, have our child. But I had a goal and I stuck to it, and I think I deserve some credit for that. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go see my son for the first time,” Swallow said, not realizing that she had in fact given birth to twin girls.

Written by: Brian Landry — bjlandry@ucdavis.edu