My emotional support rat must have his own room
By CARMEL RAVIV — craviv@ucdavis.edu
Hello, my name is Juke Jakeson. I am in dire need of a roommate next year for off-campus housing, and you must be in need of one too! It’s like I’m reading your mind! Ahaha.
A little about me:
- I am very tidy and organized. I keep such a tight ship when I clean that sometimes I even wear a pirate hat! LOL!
- I love to cook cultural foods, such as three-bean casserole, Thanksgiving turkey and ham-and-Swiss-cheese sandwiches. (I plan to move to Switzerland one day.) I hope you like spicy food, because I have a tendency to add black pepper!
- I don’t mind cooking if you do the dishes. It will be like practicing for marriage, which I think is very proactive.
If you are to live with me, I would like a balance of studying and fun activities. If you opt for a wild night, such as playing Uno past 11 p.m. or drinking Mountain Dew after brushing your teeth, I would appreciate being made aware ahead of time. Additionally, you must be well versed in Excel so we can coordinate schedules.
I’d love to find a place that is close to campus, especially the Physics Building. To be completely honest, I have a friend that hangs out there a lot. He’s a ginger, always down to eat and sunbathe. I would ask him to move in with me, but he’s a cat, and I don’t think he has a stable source of income. I’m curious about his financial situation, but I know it’s rude to ask. I’m sure you will hit it off with each other once I introduce you all!
I mainly respond through Slack, Pinterest DMs or Clash of Clans 1v1 battles, so feel free to contact me through any of those if you have questions.
Have a nice day! Go Aggies 🙂
Written by: Carmel Raviv — craviv@ucdavis.edu
Disclaimer: (This article is humor and/or satire, and its content is purely fictional. The story and the names of “sources” are fictionalized.)
