Ah, box-checking day. Nov. 4 is lurking just around the bend and, as the leaves turn, American voters are preparing themselves to march to their polling places and take that final Pepsi challenge. Another four years are behind us and it’s time again to exercise our privilege as white landowning Christians free and equal citizens to make our voices heard in the selection of our representative government. Yessir, you can positively smell the Red, White and Blue® in the air.
Endless exposure to news, polls, analysis, campaign ads, blogs, videos, celebrity endorsements and donation sites has made this election much more of an intimate part of daily life than ever before. In our era of web 2.0, with our college-age voting bloc transfixed on personal computers like apes ‘round a monolith, 2008 campaign tactics are bordering on mass hypnosis. This year has been a weltering journey through the lowest dive of ethical standards in any electoral season in memory, thanks primarily to the graceless GOP. Democrats don’t abuse those tactics quite as well, which, of course, explains their losing record.
The character of the McCain campaign suggests that their image of the average American has sunk from “coffee-burn lawsuit“ to “children abandoned in baboon enclosure.” From debates to town halls, explanations of Republican platforms are stunted and simplified, as if we’re hearing a kid-safe conservative yarn sitting on grandpa McCain’s artificial knee. How will trickle-down supply-side economics ever work? What programs will he cut? How is he finding Osama? In what ways does he differ from Bush? Just like Sarah “really got to catch this plane” Palin’s ephemeral press appearances, we’re supposed to take it all on faith. Don’t worry yourself thinking, America. You don’t want answers, American Gladiators is on.
Since the season began, McCain’s camp has been willing to say anything that has a chance to steal a point from the Spooky Brown Man, without regard for professionalism and agreement with reality. The objective of his attack ads (read: Thirty Second Hates) is not to expose anything. Their purpose is only to drudge up divisive emotions through the modern magic of unaccountable misinformation. McCain has endorsed puerile jabs that allege Obama is a troop-hating, Bible-eating, pedophile-curious whack who will pave the way to the White House with trampled bald eagles. Domestic policy and foreign policy go by the wayside in favor of ad hominem lies.
This same pattern of doublespeaking dishonesty manifests itself in the way McCain and Palin sell their platform. McCain calls himself a visionary (his word is “maverick,“ which somehow has serious bank with the peeing-Calvin-sticker demographic), but he’s voted with Bush 95 percent of the time. He “suspends his campaign“ to work on the economic crisis, yet all of his campaign offices continue business as usual. He says he supports our troops when he votes against provisions to get them body armor and supplies. He says he doesn’t work for corporate interests when their contributions are the lifeblood of his campaign. Where does the truth even start?
It seems as if the McCain camp doesn’t care about its message. Caution and tact are thrown to the wind and McCain seems to be just waiting on having the presidency delivered to him by the Great Corporate Hegemony. And for that golden ticket, everything must go. McCain’s pattern of frenzied selling-out raises the bar on political lapdoggery. Whether or not the American public is informed is irrelevant – what matters is maintaining a momentary polling advantage by keeping us all divided, confused and ill-inclined to vote. This November, don’t let all the stupefying noise scare you away from voting. Prove to these psychotics that you’re too good to believe the media filth they foist upon us. Rise above!
CHEYA CARY has nothing but respect for registered Republicans and he hopes for them to get the best treatment available for their condition. E-mail him at email@example.com.