Are you male? Do you watch porn? If your answers to these questions are “yes” and “fuck yes” respectively, you are more likely to objectify women. I am not assuming you do, but the likelihood is strong. The likelihood is correlated with how frequently you watch porn and how frequently your viewings are followed by an orgasm.
Porn usually consists of nude people (actors/actresses) engaging in a sexual act. What you don’t see is the girls‘ and/or guys‘ personalities, needs, wants and desires. With enough exposure and orgasm reinforcements you may confuse porn with reality. This is unfair to the women or men who don’t want to be objectified. This may be the cause of dissonance between today’s intimate relationships.
Are porn viewers the only ones who are to blame for such a dissonance? I say that chick flicks are far worse than porn in this sense. Those sappy romance flicks give females a delusional notion of what romance is in reality. Some females who have been romantically desensitized by Disney films growing up won’t settle for anybody less than Prince Charming. Those same females grow up to watch other flicks like The Notebook and Titanic. They enter the dating world thinking a man will sweep them off their feet without realizing their fat ass isn’t going anywhere.
It would be outrageous to limit romance to only a mature audience, but completely acceptable to do so for porn. Romantic flicks have fewer stigmas than porn, but in reality, they are no less dangerous. This mental porn can have damaging effects on young women entering the dating scene. They will be victims of uneventful and disappointing relationships; they will be numb to their boyfriends‘ meager attempts at being romantic. In turn, men are left to wallow in their own deficiencies, dumbfounded as to why they can’t turn their women on anymore.
Women at least have the luxury of knowing how to fulfill a porn fanatic’s fantasies; they have to look no further than his hard drive to seek out the answer. Men, however, can’t just mimic Hugh Grant’s mannerisms and hope for the best, romance doesn’t work that way. Romance is a function of unpredictability; therefore, women can never tell men exactly what to do in order to be romantic, because then it ceases to be romantic! Moreover, one romantic act may work for one woman, but not for another, complicating things further. The last thing Joe the Boyfriend needs is for women to raise the romantic benchmark and chick flicks aren’t helping.
I don’t believe porn is better than chick flicks, I think they are equal, and therefore should be treated equally. Society doesn’t stigmatize women for having unrealistic expectations for a man’s romantic abilities. Chick flicks portray the romantic males in a positive light, endowing them with attributes men aspire to have. In porn, women are treated in a way most women don’t want to be treated. This would probably explain why chick flicks have gotten a free ride for so long.
Unfortunately, this double standard won’t end any time soon in our sexually immature society; perhaps sex will never be as mainstream as romance. It’s a shame the two don’t merged to make the ultimate movie genre: Pornomance. Couples will never again argue over what movie to watch, ever. Meanwhile, here is my fleeting advice: If you ever have your girlfriend drag you into chick flicks saying, “Hey, maybe you can learn a thing or two!” You equally have the right to invite her to see Dildo Desires 7, and say, “Hey, maybe you can learn a thing or two!” And don’t forget to tell her to bring a notepad.
LIOR GOTESMAN would rather watch 2 hours of static than a cliché chick flick. Share your dismay at firstname.lastname@example.org.