The recession sucks. Being in college, most of us will probably feel the wrath of the recession if we haven‘t already. Some of our families are being hit by this really hard, and I wish you all the best of luck during these times. While AIG punks are getting their million dollar bonuses, some of us are losing homes and giving up on dreams because of financial difficulties. While I can‘t fix the economy or offer you money, I can give you my genetically inherited penny pincher tricks of the trade. I have a few up my sleeve and none of them require pulling apart two-ply toilet paper.
Recycle! I learned this tip in about the 4th grade. But “reduce, reuse, recycle“ always seems easier said than done. There are all those clever little ways to reuse household items and such but to be realistic let‘s stick to one household item many college students have: beer. Now that I‘ve got your attention, listen up. Step one of this recycle thing is a pretty counter-intuitive one: go out, buy some beer and get drunk. So far so good right? If you‘re not a beer drinker, do not fear, go get your favorite soda pop and invite your friends over for an exhilarating game of Scrabble.
Anyway, so when you‘re good and drunk, or just really caffeinated, forget all about recycling. Do what you‘d normally do. Play some video games, wrestle your friends, fall asleep in your jeans. Is that just me? In the morning, when you wake up, play basketball or football or cricket with the beer cans designating them into particular trash bags if there are cans or bottles. Anyway, you gotta clean up regardless, might as well make it exciting. You‘ll probably be hungover so maybe just play HORSE, 21 or Around the World: those stand-in-one-spot-and-shoot kind of basketball games. Have the loser carry all the bags to that place by Luckys and cash in. This only pays off if you drink often, and have a lot of cans lying around. No matter how little amount of money you just made, you still are getting money back. So many birds, so little stones.
This second one is almost embarrassing to have to reiterate to Davis students especially. Ride your bike. Or just ride the bus. If you have your ID the bus is free and bikes don‘t require any gas money. This rule might not apply so well during winter quarter but spring is here! It‘s beautiful outside and we should take advantage of it. Plus, Davis is 10 square miles and people are driving to campus! Compare that to Frisco which is 232 square miles where you still see people biking, walking and taking the bus. We‘re supposed to be smart college students and driving to campus in Davis is just unnecessary and counter productive in so many ways. Save that gas money and mileage on your car for a road trip after finals. With all the money you save with these tips, you can afford to indulge.
And lastly, one that not many people know about, is UCD Bookstore‘s Lowest Price Guarantee. This trick is GOLDEN. It requires some research on your part, but watching yourself save money live is such a great feeling. A lot of students don‘t know that when you see those “Lowest Price Guarantee“ signs at the bookstore, you can actually take them up on that! If you can find your books online from a company for a cheaper price than what the bookstore offers (this really shouldn‘t be very hard), print the evidence out and take it to the bookstore: They will give you your books for that price! Like I said: golden. You can‘t use Craigslist or uLoop or something, but books sold from any legit company is good (pro tip: affordabook.com). This way you can get the online price but the convenience of getting them right away. Besides having to sit on your ass and figure out the lowest price, it really is win-win.
Anyway, I hope this helps some people out. With Obama doing nothing more than looking fine and breaking my heart with that wife of his, at least I can offer some instant gratification. So, drink beer, ride your bike and screw the bookstore.
Vote SARA KOHGADAI for president 2012! If I have your vote holler at me at email@example.com.