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Wednesday, July 28, 2021

And then I found 5 dollars

I was watching old episodes of “The Office the other day because that’s what I do when I have tons of work and no motivation to do it. For those of you who aren’t familiar with this particular show, you’re missing out. To give you a short summary, this mockumentary follows a group of people and their mundane lives working in a paper supply office. Think “Seinfeld in an office, but funny.

Anyway, the episode I’m watching has everyone in an uproar discussing whether or not Hilary Swank is hot. Half the office thinks she is and half thinks she isn’t. Cue Kelly Kapoor, the office joke who is ridiculous for the simple fact that she is the epitome of all things stereotypicallygirly.She is crying because half the office thinks Hilary Swank isn’t hot and since Kelly is definitely not as attractive as Hilary, then she can’t be hot either. The sane part of me laughs at the absurdity of the situation. However, another (very small) part of me sympathized with Kelly. This is when I realized that no matter how unique or off-kilter any girl might think she is, we all have at least a little Kelly in us.

I’m someone who used to consider herself somewhat of a tomboy when she was young. Translation: My awkward stage lasted longer than expected, and to make up for that I decided that I wasn’t thetypical girl.Sure, I grew out of it, but the mentality that I wasn’t agirly-girlstayed with me. As shocked as I was to realize that on some level I related to Kelly (the personification of girliness), I should have seen the signs. Here are a couple things that should have clued me into the fact that I share way too many qualities with thestereotypical girl:

Makeup. I really love makeup. I’m not saying it’s the same for all girly-girls. Some love bags. For others, it’s clothes in general. The most common and well-known obsession is shoes. But for me, makeup is my totally unnecessary, necessary buy whenever I’m at the store. When I think of heaven, it eerily resembles a Sephora, but with more clouds and less unflatteringly bright lights.

Sparkly things. What girly-girl doesn’t love sparkly things? I actually had an entire conversation with my sister about gold, sparkly, spandex pants. She decided against them, but I think she could have pulled them off (no pun intended).

Drama. No one ever admits to liking drama. But if you’re a girly-girl and you’re not directly involved in it, it’s more fun than a barrel of monkeys – which is actually really entertaining if you’re interested in a trip down memory lane. There’s a reason that “The Hills remains on the air and that more people read Perez Hilton than The New York Times. Drama is perpetuated and sustained by many a girly-girl.

Sports. When people say,You run like a girl,I’m that girl they’re referring to. I envy those women who can actually run 10 miles without getting tired, or set a volleyball without sending it flying in the opposite direction. However, I am no Mia Hamm and I eventually learned that it’s just better for everyone if I avoid throwing, hitting and attempting to run altogether.

Shopping. This could just be a habit that formed when I was 10 and the cool thing to do was go to the mall with your friends every weekend, but shopping is the cure-all of the girl world. When I’m sad, shopping makes me feel better. When I’m happy, it’s a great way to celebrate. Even if it’s just window shopping, there’s something about being in a mall that’s just therapeutic.

I’m not saying that this is the same for all girls. In fact, there are many beautiful, strong women out there that have carved their own identities and established careers, families and lives around their individuality. I’m just saying that I’m not one of them. Don’t get me wrong, I have many redeemable qualities (or so my mommy tells me), but my undeniable girliness is not among them.

DANIELLE RAMIREZ wants to know if anyone else can relate to being too girly. If you can, e-mail her at dramirez@ucdavis.edu.

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