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Davis

Davis, California

Friday, July 26, 2024

For the youth

Super Senior,

 

Why is it that upperclassmen find the DC to be such an enticing place to eat? I would like to understand so that I will be better prepared for falling victim to it myself when I check out of dorms. But seriously the food is only good for days when a multitude of prospective students will be dining there, which coincidentally means that there is nowhere to sit, and more to the point you stare at the same food over and over and over again until some of it starts to look like it is just perpetually left over.

 

Trying to Regain my Appetite

 

Think back to your initial week at the DC; for probably the first time in your life you were presented with the prospect of nearly 24-hour, ready-made deliciousness (and I don’t care what you think you think about the food, it’s delicious). There was all you can eat pizza, all you can eat burgers, all you can eat pancakes, all you can eat omelettes, all you can eat fro-yo, all you can eat Captain Crunch, all you can eat cake and all you can steal fruit.

Of course, the operative phrases here are “ready-made and “all you can eat.

Upperclassmen like the DC because it frees us from our kitchens. As you will soon discover, when you move out of the dorms you suddenly encounter a world where prepared food is not provided to you whenever you so desire it. This is a scary world, and the DC is your vehicle of deliverance.

And I would think that the virtues of “all you can eat are self-evident. If they aren’t, you obviously haven’t turned eating into a competitive sport, which I highly recommend.

Super Senior,

 

In your experience at Davis, what do you think was (or is) the best way to get involved and meet people on campus? The dorms have been a fun way to get to know people, but at the same time it can be very limiting when you keep spending time with the same people every day without any way to meet anyone else. And you can never have too many friends.

 

Hugs, Not Drugs

 

So, not happy with the dormies huh? Roommate too much for you? Ridden the dormcest merry-go-round a few too many times? Don’t worry, it happens to the best of us. Here’s your move.

First, figure out what you have fun doing, whether that’s playing soccer, getting wasted, doing advanced particle physics or ideological circle jerking. Next, find out who else is interested in those things, and do them together. This is what IM sports, the Greek system, academic clubs and churches are for, respectively.

Seek, and in the case of the Greek system, pay, and ye shall find.

 

Super Senior,

 

My friends and I are making plans for Picnic Day this weekend and we couldn’t help but wonder what’s the worst thing you’ve either seen or done (or both) on the glorious occasion that is Picnic Day?

 

– Aspiring Adventurer

 

I can’t legally comment on that, since I’m bound by a gag-order. But I hear that the most outrageous thing ever done on Picnic Day involved one of the wiener dogs, a gallon of fortified wine and a female clarinet player from Stanford.

 

Super Senior,

 

I was walking behind these girls the other day from one of my classes. I knew them from my building but I hadn’t talked to them much. It took about two seconds to realize they were talking about me. What do you think I should do?

 

Stewing and Steamed

 

Unless what you heard them saying was positive (doesn’t sound like it) then your task from here is to make them feel as awkward as possible in your presence. Your chances with them are shot and are likely also shot with any of their friends, so at least have some fun with it.

I suggest walking up to one of them at some point and starting a random “conversation (really you’ll just be rambling) about something absolutely certain to bore her so thoroughly she’ll want to rupture her ear drums with a bobby-pin. Something like advanced particle physics. When she makes attempts to get away, keep talking, follow her around and don’t let up until she threatens to call the cops.

Or you could just ignore them and move on.

 

Super Senior,

 

I like this guy, but he’s kind of a hermit and has no friends. He’s a total bookworm and barely leaves his room. We’ve hung out a few times, but I can’t tell if he’s interested because he’s so socially awkward. How should I approach this?

 

Stuck in Dating Limbo

 

You have interesting taste, but you know what they say: There’s somebody for everyone most people. Lucky you, you’re that somebody.

Unluckily for you, women don’t typically make the first move. But since he’s so socially awkward, he probably doesn’t even know that.

And hopefully you haven’t tried to have him hang out with you and your other friends. I say this because if he’s really that socially awkward, odds are he’s not used to doing much of anything with anyone and the last thing he’ll want is an audience for his first foray into male/female interaction.

Finally, if you actually like spending time with this guy, then you won’t worry about whether he wants a piece right away. Just enjoy the kid’s company and let things work themselves out in the early phases.

But if he hasn’t put out by the third date, it’s time for plan-B: tequila.

 

K.C. CODY is very, very, very, very appreciative of the people who sent in questions this week. Send in some more at kccody@ucdavis.edu.

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