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Davis

Davis, California

Tuesday, July 27, 2021

That’s what she said

Ill usually write my articles about intense outside world-related things (swine-flu racists, the new chancellor not making sacrifices, racist republicans, LGBT rights, racists in general). And Im sure the majority of you dont really care – unfortunately.

The end is near, this is my second to last column for the year and I want to try to spin this article to something more college related. With spring fever and summer love almost indistinguishable in this Davis heat, a lot of us get confused about whats real and what isnt in college relationships.

There have been a number of advice columns about how to find love in college, how to meet the right one and make it last, what to do and what not to do when it comes to the opposite (curiously, never the same) sex.

I respectfully disagree in the sense that I believe you should start by doing this: nothing.

Dont try. Dont do anything.

Have you stopped yet? Keeping an eye out for the perfect person is like faith in some religions, believing is seeing. You will idealize someone so much, solely for the sake of having someone to care about that your relationship will end in utter disappointment when they come crashing down off the pedestal you put them on.

Do things that make you happy, things that you enjoy, and you will run into someone with the same obsessions. And when this person with the same obsessions also has the same vices, pet peeves and patterns of OCD as you – sparks will fly.

A good place to meet these kinds of people are in small classes. Theres usually some boring lower division class you have to take for your major that is completely irrelevant to what you enjoy doing. And when you hate doing something together, theres usually a bonding experience waiting to happen. So when youre stuck in PHI 5, learning “if A then B for the 10th time and some cutie catches your eye – together you can make the experience much less mind-numbing.

And assuming that youre trying to pass this class, with the help of the cutie from your discussion, you two will eventually study together. No, really. Study. This is a great way to see how the two of you are compatible when it comes to what youre here to do: learn (right?). You dont need to be on the same page, you can always help each other out, but its nice to see how much work youll actually get done. Eventually everyone needs to buckle down, if you want you and your cutie to last, youre going to have to pass your classes.

After you bond over some boring class, youre going to have to party. It is a given. If you both like to drink, then drink. If you dont, then dont. Dont change yourself around to impress anyone. Remember, similar vices. But if playing four undefeated games of beer pong in a row under CP3 and Kobe aliases makes you like him or her that much more, so be it.

By this point, there should be a lot of sexual tension. Not that its the most important thing, but well, ok, yeah its pretty important. Cant really go into a whole lot of detail here, but if you find yourself in a hot tub on a warm summer night take advantage.

Do nice things for one another most importantly. Respect each other, be honest and trustworthy, be real. If something upsets you, say so. Dont hold things back. Wrestle each other. Drink beer and eat a lot food. Play Super Smash Brothers (the Nintendo 64 one), it gets a lot of aggression out. Take bike rides together and lay in grass. Stay up late and sleep in. Steal things for one another. Take a weekend get away and sleep in the car. If you do something wrong, apologize and get a card that can express what you cant say. Be good to each others family. Fight. But always make up.

If you want your spring/summer fling to last, say so. Be vulnerable and take the risk of looking like a fool. If it doesnt work out, then fuck ’em.

 

 

SARA KOHGADAI realizes she said do nothing, then wrote an entire column about it. Oops. Tell her your love story at sbkohgadai@ucdavis.edu. 

 

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