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Davis, California

Saturday, May 18, 2024

If you can read this, the First Amendment still exists

Readers – as this is the last column the hard-working and parsimonious gang at The Aggie will let me publish this year, let me say its been one king-hell of a ride writing for you. My coverage of the obscure and important, I hope, has helped you to see more elephants in the room than a schizophrenic pachyderm.

Much more importantly, I intended my writing to arouse a sense of inquisitiveness that leads to an act calledindependent thought.I want you to blast through the filters of mainstream media and blaze your own intellectual trail.

Truth still lives in our world, and you can have it for the price of asking. That price is going up, so I say steal it.

But I’m not the scrapbooking type, so I’ll wipe my single nostalgic tear and get right into it.

I’m going to bombard you with information. Some of it I believe to be true, other parts I consider and rebuke and others yet make me laugh.

Until we meet again, I’d like you to sort these quips into those three categories.

Not for me, for you.

Figure out where you stand on each one, and think until you’re sure.

Self-motivated learning is the best way to chart the ever-night sky of human existence.

My work may not point you toward a lode-star, but I hope it can find you a constellation or two. Start now. Look up.

Once again, I am intentionally pushing buttons and testing limits, as is my constitutional right. If we don’t use our legal protections, how do we know they’re there?

Let’s begin.

Since the California Supreme Court has decided that human rights are up for a vote by upholding civil rights limitation Prop 8 by 6 to 1, it can’t be long now till the Ballot Box Wars break out. Mad with power, judicially-encouraged Protestants and Catholics will flood biblically on voting day, becoming the Crusaders of the Polling Places – now able to bash any less numerous group into the status of second-class citizens. Ethnic and religious groups of all kinds will be caught in a war of lost freedoms. Californians will be forced to decide with which gang they stand to fight for their freedom of speech, their voting rights, their rights to legal representation, their rights to own businesses and their rights to promise their kids a stable and prosperous future.

Cities will be riot-scorched wastelands of boarded windows and barred doors. The Capitol building will be sandbagged and patrolled by National Guardsmen. For some strange reason, Blackwater mercenaries and FEMA agents will begin to appear. Progress will be trashed to a halt.

Or, we could take Prop 8 to the Federal Supreme Court and get the whole marriage mess straightened out before anything happens.

Truth is, the wordmarriageis a glitch of American legal history. Church and state crossed over for a second and wound up getting their bags mixed up. The state has the authority to create legal unions between people. And that’s all. It’s up to individuals to determine their own spirituality and decide what rituals they want when they unite with their soul mate. In every case, legally united people will share the same rights and liberties and spiritually joined people can have their peace.Marriageshouldn’t appear in legal code anywhere. Just a mix up we can fix. Click.

Monogamy is outdated anyways.

Barack Obama is a test tube baby. He was engineered in 1980 in a secret genetics facility on a forbidden Hawaiian island.

We don’t know anything true about Sept. 11.

Republican pundits are a mass of inarticulate bloodsucking ticks riding in the ears of the gullible and skewing their view of reality.

Al Qaeda doesn’t exist.

Jack Ruby killed John F. Kennedy. He and Lee Harvey Oswald lived within a block of one another and both had plane tickets to Mexico for the next day. After the plan went a little awry, Ruby plugged the hole (Oswald) and covered the Illuminati’s tracks. JFK aspired for world peace and sought to dismantle the Federal Reserve. Bang, bang, bang went the guns in Masonic Square.

The Founding Fathers required that American farmers grow hemp. As in cannabis. This is because the beautiful plant has a vast array of practical uses. American visionaries knew hemp can be woven into uniquely strong fibers for rope and clothing, and its oil could be extracted for a variety of applications. They also knew how mega-blown and trippinon human equality you could get after packing some of Betsy Rosshome-grown buds into Benjamin Franklin’s steamroller, and that if you askedTJJefferson to see his triple-perc bong you’d better not have work the next day. The Declaration of Independence AND the Constitution were written after hot-boxing the entire Congressional hall. More than one signer had dreads.

Your dreams really exist. The subconscious is just a place where your soul can talk to you without needing to be filtered by your conscious mind. And we all have psychic immortal souls, just not like what any one religion can teach you.

Revolution is the only way this generation is gonna have its place in the world.

Love is real, and you’re getting closer to it every day.

That concludes my barrage of equally contrived and researched information. Sift it out. An answer key will not be provided.

As always, I’m pushing the limits of word-space along with everything else, so I gotta wrap for the year. Thanks so much for reading. Keep the fire of curiosity aglow. Also, check out my blog I’ll be starting within the next week. Summer’s here and the time is right for fighting in the streets, boy.


CHEYA CARY is great with goodbyes; he never says them. Wish him a happy journalism internship at cheya.cary@gmail.com.


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