Someone messed up.
Someone somewhere made a mistake. The Aggie couldn’t have wanted this Sara back. Kohgadai? It must be another one. Maybe they have mistaken her for a Sarah.
Let me start by saying: It’s not Sara, it’s Sara.
Last year, this column was named “That’s what She said,” because this is what She says. And it’s nothing like what you think She’s been saying this whole time. I don’t care if that’s the biggest burrito you’ve ever seen, or that after a rainy day you’re really wet. This She doesn’t care.
I wrote for the Aggie last year and I learned a lot. I might have learned too much. Well, you can never learn too much, but like Tupac said, “My son’s getting older and older and cold from having the world on his shoulders.” Still, I try my best to write about something with substance. Something to make you go, “What the fuck?” Stir up the status quo and shit.
I also learned last year that we could curse in our columns.
Writing your opinion and having it published for everyone to see is a bit nerve wracking. My sophomore year, when I realized I wanted to write for the newspaper, I sat down and started to write a “pretend first column,” preparing for the day I might get the position. I didn’t end up using it for my actual first column. I’ll use it here to keep me grounded and show you exactly how nerve wracking it is. Here is a blast from the past:
“This column could be psychologically problematic for me. Being someone who constantly wants other people to be happy, I could potentially have a nervous breakdown any day seeing Aggies scattered all over the place. Wondering what people think when they read it – if they even read it. I know every littered Aggie will be a personalized blow to my heart. The paranoia and stress could easily kill me. Sweaty palms and shaky hands will keep me single much longer than what’s considered cool. My indecisiveness about what ‘interesting’ topic to write about will render me a poser.”
Okay, so the emotions are a bit dramatized, but you know what I really mean. We columnists are bearing our souls to you, UC Davis. We write to make you happy, sad, upset and confused. We write to make you laugh, to inspire you and just entertain you. This column might do some of these things; it might do none of these things.
But I’m writing for the underdog. Consider me Robin Hood: I’m taking the knowledge, information and secrets that the top is hoarding away and distributing it to the bottom. With knowledge comes power. What you’ll learn throughout this column, hopefully, is that there are a lot of things that happen right under our noses that you might not approve of. If more people had any idea about these things, they’d want to change them. And once enough people want something to change – well, it’ll happen. Ipso facto.
I guess the only perk of this column – as opposed to other articles that talk about the same boring world issues most college students don’t care for – is that I talk in layman’s terms. I’m not trying to impress anyone with my knowledge of anything. I’m just learning something new each week and sharing it with those who care.
SARA KOHGADAI is excited for a new year. E-mail her at email@example.com. While you’re here, check out the cartoons for today. I hear they’re good on Tuesdays.