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Sunday, September 19, 2021

Column: Get out of jail free column

It’s the week before finals and all through the school – just kidding.

Except for it’s the week before finals part. That’s true. The week before finals is probably the worst time of the quarter. This includes the third-week-of-school midterms and papers due Monday mornings.

Some of us have papers, projects and tests coming up even before the finals hit (the final shit?). I have a midterm, a paper and a presentation in the next couple days before I have to take tests that are about 35 to 40 percent of my grade – before finals start.

And this is right after a week of gluttony and tryptophan. I can barely get my jeans on let alone cram for all this stuff.

Isn’t the quarter system great? Start off with a solid round of midterms three weeks into the quarter, followed by staggered papers and more midterms and then just as finals are creeping around the corner, they throw in this four-day-but-most-of-us-stretch-it-out-to-a-five-day-long-weekend to throw off all of our momentum!

I heard somewhere once that the University of California instated the quarter system in the ’70s to keep students from having time to protest and riot. Well, by the looks of the last few weeks, it hasn’t been working.

The week before finals is the worst in the quarter because we are so close and yet so far from getting to where we want to be: on break. It’s worse than finals because at least during finals you can get cozy in the library in your sweats and chug coffee and gorge on textbooks and Subway. Then once we take those tests, we’re home free.

My favorite part about finals is all the free time in between them. Even if you have all your finals on one day (fall quarter 2008, right here) at least you can get them over with in one fatal swoop.

And ideally speaking, if you’ve kept up somewhat during the quarter, studying for finals should just be review. But if you’re human and haven’t, then the usual all-nighter shouldn’t really interfere with the huge gaps between tests anyway.

After a week of not really doing anything, it’s so difficult to get back into the school/work grind. To go from stuffing your face with food and being spoiled at home to eating Eggos on the couch in your apartment in Davis is kind of a downgrade.

There is light at the end of the tunnel, though. Two more weeks before a nice break and then we can worry about another round of midterm and nonsense like that in the second week of January.

Not only that, but in a last minute rush to get drunk with our college friends before we go home for the holidays, there is always some party the weekend before finals. These usually have some aptly-named Facebook event page like “Get fucked up before finals,” or “Take stress off of studying for finals and get fucked up.” Something along those lines.

This column right now – this one you’re reading right now – is such bullshit.

I didn’t do anything this weekend. Except eat and play video games. I didn’t want to think, read, do anything that required my intellect at all. So now, I’m writing this, reminiscing on my sloth-like time, sharing with all of you how little I accomplished.

I have no shame. There are more of my kind. We will not be shut down any longer! The lazy will prevail!

Good luck with the last few weeks of the quarter, everyone. See you in 2010.

SARA KOHGADAI is finishing up her last fall quarter at UC Davis, and has a lot to look forward to over winter break. She wishes a happy birthday to her little brother Aaron, who as of today is no longer a teenager. Send him happy birthday messages at sbkohgadai@ucdavis.edu.

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