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Tuesday, October 19, 2021

Column: What’s your secret?

Sex is a buffet. Well, that’s my theory anyway.

I’ll try anything once. Even if my partner wants me to get on all fours, pant like a dog and let him “mark his territory,” I’d never say no to something new.

It’s as simple as an all-you-can-eat joint: If I don’t like what I try, I won’t try it again. But if I do, I’ll come back for seconds.

Food imagery aside, I guess you can say that I’m a sexual adventurer. It might take a little time, but a guy can get me to do almost anything. (I say almost because I draw the line at coprophilia. Don’t know what that is? Google it if you’re brave.)

I got to thinking. Everyone must have his or her own little fetish – a dirty little turn-on that most keep quiet about for fear of sounding weird.

So I, along with a few of my brave (and pretty kinky) friends, have decided to share with you readers some of our naughty fixations. Here’s what we feel comfortable sharing:

First off, there’s partialism, which is simply sexual arousal from a particular body part. There are so many body parts to feast your appetite on. It’s difficult picking just one! My roommates just so happen to share a hand fetish.

“I really don’t know what it is,” said my roommate Jaz. “I just love it when hands look strong and veiny.”

I, on the other hand, like feet. Yes, you read correctly: Mario Lugo has a foot fetish. I’m not too sure how much of a freak it constitutes me to be, but looking at a nice pair of feet really turns me on.

BDSM was another big theme my friends really seemed to enjoy. Think bondage, dominance, submission, sadism and masochism. Roles must be taken (“tops” and “bottoms”). Props could be used (handcuffs, blindfolds and paddles, oh my!). It’s all a game of inflicting or receiving sexual pain; all you have to do is choose one.

“I guess I just like the other person to be in complete control,” said my friend Mitch, a self-proclaimed bottom. “I like it when the person gets creative with me.”

Creativity is something that I personally enjoy. That’s why I like playing dress-up. The French maid and horny master charade was quite popular among some of the friends I talked to. I, however, have a pair of angel wings lying around. Rest assured, the “fallen angel with a penchant for naughtiness” routine was something my boyfriend Arthur and I have tried.

“Does body hair count as a fetish?” asked my friend, whom we’ll call The Rock. “I like my guys a little hairy.”

Sure, I say. If you prefer it au naturale, there’s no shame in calling it a fancy. But others prefer a smoother approach.

“I like going down on a smooth surface,” said my token straight male friend.

For the even more courageous, voyeurism can be particularly arousing.

“I like sex in different places,” Mitch said. “Not so much in public but, you know, in cars or other places in the house.”

I wouldn’t go so far as to call myself an exhibitionist, but my places-I’ve-had-sex list does extend beyond the bedroom. Car? Check. Kitchen counter? Check. In a bathroom somewhere on campus? Check. (Oh, wipe that shocked look off your face – sometimes the urge is just too strong.)

While some may venture out for the prime sex spot, all my roommate Belle needs is a mirror.

“I love doing it in front of the mirror,” she said. “It’s so damn hot!”

When it comes to looking at our reflections during sex, I’d be a liar if I denied this as a fetish. Every day, I make sure to include the mirrored closet doors I have right next to my bed in my prayers.

Now, the last fetish is one I talk about with extreme caution. Barebacking (i.e. sex without protection) is tremendously pleasurable because sometimes, people don’t like the feeling of latex.

“I like the freedom and naturalness of it,” said my friend Tiger. “If I know the person well and truly trust them, then it would be acceptable.”

I can’t stress enough how important protection is. To keep you and your partner safe from STIs or a pregnancy, condoms are extremely effective.

If you do decide to stop using the rubbers, however, be cautious. Make sure to get tested for infections or HIV regularly, talk about it extensively with your partner and always be aware of the serious consequences.

There you have it, everyone – a little peek into the deepest, raunchiest secrets of my sex life. I hope this has helped you embrace all your dirty little secrets, too.

The lesson in all this: Don’t be afraid to be a little wild. Try new things. And if there’s something that you wouldn’t do in a million years, simply say, “It’s not for me.” You never know what the person next to you is into.

MARIO LUGO is extremely grateful for the on-campus STI and HIV testing, as well as Planned Parenthood in Woodland. He urges you all to stay safe and get tested! He can be reached at mlugo@ucdavis.edu.

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