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Davis, California

Saturday, February 24, 2024

Column: Sealed with a kiss

I love you. Yes, you – I love you.

For many reasons, I fall more in love with this job every week. But I love it most when you – my precious readers – send me e-mails. Minus the occasional hate mail, every e-mail tugs at my heartstrings and makes me feel great knowing that you’re all enjoying and supporting what I have to say.

That is why I’ve decided to do another “Dear Mario” column, in honor of all my readers. This week, I’m giving my readers another chance to voice their questions, comments or concerns about relationships and sex. To all my gorgeous, supportive and brilliant honeybees out there, this one’s for you.

Dear Mario,

I’ve been on four dates with this girl and we still have yet to kiss. It’s been about a month-and-a-half but we only get to see each other once a week or so, and not for very long. I want things to move faster! What should I do?

Desperate in Davis

My question to you, my impatient friend, would be this: Have you expressed this to the girl? Does she know you want to be more than friends?

If not, it might be a good idea to voice how you feel. She deserves to know. Try a few more dates. If you really do like her and want a little more, try expressing your feelings to her. Let’s see where that takes you.

Remember: Communication is always important. When in doubt, talk it out.

Dear Mario,

Help me? A friend is really in love with me and I have a little crush on him, but I’m in a stable, honest, fantastic relationship with a boy who loves me AND has a history of being cheated on. I don’t want to hurt my boyfriend, but I like flirting, too. Advice?

– In Need of Assistance

Wow, that’s a pretty loaded situation.

First of all, everyone enjoys a little attention from someone – but even something as innocent as flirting can turn out to be hurtful. To make things short: If you think you’re going to feel guilty about flirting with this friend, don’t do it. If you say you love your boyfriend as much as you do and you completely trust yourself to keep things at a little casual flirt, I don’t see anything wrong with it either.

As someone who has been cheated on, I know it’s pretty hard to recover from it. Just remember your boyfriend and how much you love him. If you do end up having stronger feelings for this friend and want to pursue something, give your boyfriend the courtesy of ending things with him first. Cheating is never the answer.

Dear Mario,

As a pretty apathetic gay man, I find your articles to be offensive garbage. Why do you like to reinforce stereotypes? Do you like moving the gay rights movement back a couple decades?

– Anonymous

I’m really sorry you find my articles to be garbage. I do see how my column may perpetuate the “gay stereotype,” but believe it or not, I’m honest in my columns. I’m me. I do like pink and glitter and Britney Spears and “gay” stuff, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. I love who I am – and if it’s stereotypical, so be it. We can’t all be “unique,” I guess.

To clarify, I am not an activist. I’m not a voice for any gay following. I’m just a guy who likes to offer his opinions and who happens to be gay. But just because I’m gay doesn’t mean I have to “fuck shit up” or be super queer. It’s just not me. When it comes down to it, I’m sure you can find a much better suited person to write about queer issues.

As for me, I just write a relationship column, heavily based on my own personal experiences. I’m grateful The Aggie gave me a shot to be who I am. Of course, my columns won’t speak to everyone, but maybe some people will enjoy them and be helped a little.

Dear Mario,

Are you a top or a bottom?

– Dying to Know

Time for a vocabulary lesson, everyone!

When two gentlemen partake in sexual relations, the one who enjoys “pitching” or “giving” is usually referred to as the “top.” The other one is the “bottom.”

I’m the other one.

MARIO LUGO loves all of you for who you are. In that case, you should love him in return. Send him some love at mlugo@ucdavis.edu.


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