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Davis, California

Sunday, April 14, 2024

Column: Tall tales

As I mentioned last week, I’m a tall girl. I’m 5’11”, in case you never finished reading my column like my friend Ben. In fact, my chem honors teacher in high school wrote, “You’re hella tall and you can totally ball” in my yearbook — apparently, I didn’t make much of an impression in learning any chemistry (that should explain me being a poli sci major). There are definitely perks to being so high above the ground (I can reach the top shelf!) but as tall girls everywhere know, it’s not easy being tall.

Let’s start with first impressions. When I was in second grade, my best friend’s dad thought I was in high school since my friend was pretty short. Frankly, I’d be pretty worried if my second grader was hanging out with what appeared to be a high school kid, but he didn’t seem to mind.

Often when I meet new people, the first exclamation I hear is, “Oh my god, you’re so tall!” followed soon by “do you play basketball or volleyball?” For the record, I used to play both. Now, I just try to hit the ARC where my bruh Aaron works). Some have suggested modeling as a career, but I’d have to be much skinnier and chomp on celery sticks, which doesn’t sound very appealing to me. At family parties little children stare up at me with their mouths open, in awe of such a giant. These young souls are usually afraid that I’m going to step on them so I have to reassure them by sitting down.

Being from a tall family isn’t such a walk in the park, either. When we were looking around for cars to buy, we went to a Volkswagen dealership. Yes, their cars are adorable from the outside, but trying to fit four above-average height individuals into a Jetta is serious work. I can’t even begin to describe the aching of trying to stretch our legs out in the car. Long legs are great until you have to squeeze them behind a reclined front seat. Needless to say, we didn’t get the car.

Tall people, especially tall girls, often have trouble finding clothes that fit properly. I can’t tell you how many times I have tried on a dress only to find that it fits me perfectly as a shirt. If I were to wear it without bottoms like a normal dress, I’d be pulling a serious Lindsay Lohan getting out of the car without underwear. And don’t even get me started on this recent romper trend that has got my panties in a bunch, literally. (TMI?).

Ok, so clothes are one pain in the ass, (man, I can’t stop with these puns!) but probably the most unpleasant thing about being a tall girl is the lack of options in the guy department. Is it just me or are the guys getting shorter and shorter? This serious deficiency of tall guys has even got my Indian music teacher worried. On multiple occasions she has told me to just settle for a short guy after asking, “How are your parents ever going to find you a husband?” FYI: My parents are not going to; it’s up to me to find one — yikes.

There have also been countless times when I’ve gone to parties where, with a quick survey of the room, it’s possible to find maybe one or two tall guys. Much to my regret (the next day), I end up dancing with a guy shorter than me and not realizing it because, let’s be honest, there’s a lot of getting low in dancing. Usually when we’re back to the upright position, the guy says, “Hold up, are you taller than me?” Yes, Sherlock, you got it. And that’s my cue to leave.

The most annoying aspect of this situation to me is when a short girl is dating a tall guy. Shorter girls, I understand that you’re cutely petite and like being with such tall guys, but leave some for us taller girls! Yes, Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries are cute in their height difference, but think about this: not all tall girls want shorter guys. Sure, Katie Holmes is married to Tom Cruise, but they don’t look as cute as say, Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady.

So next time you see a tall girl, think about the tribulations she faces each and every day. From the gawking and the lack of car options to the ill-fitting clothes and relationship problems, that girl has a lot of issues that she must use her long legs to stand tall with. Tall girls unite!

If you want to set MEDHA SRIDHAR up with a cute, tall guy on the basketball or volleyball team, contact her at mdsridhar@ucdavis.edu.

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