This Saturday is not spring break. MTV’s cameras will be nowhere in sight, and the cast of Jersey Shore has not checked in to the Hallmark Inn. And Lindsay Lohan was not just named your BFF.
So handle your shit on Picnic Day.
UC Davis’ biggest event of the year has, for reasons unknown, become synonymous with “drink alcoholic beverages until you pass out on a stranger’s couch.” But why? There are literally hundreds of other fun things to do on Picnic Day. Actually, Picnic Day is the one day of the year when there are so many things to do in Davis that you don’t even have time to do them all. Why waste this rare and wonderful opportunity stumbling drunk down Third Street at 10 in the morning? That’s when the Optical Laser Maze starts.
Besides, Picnic Day has historically been, and continues to be, a family-friendly event. Campus will be literally crawling with small children all day long. One of the annual events is called the Multicultural Children’s Faire, for crying out loud. That little girl excitedly skipping along to make Mexican tissue paper flowers should not have to see you doing your best Mel Gibson impression. Really, no one should have to see that.
And take preemptive pity on your friends, who will have to spend their Picnic Day taking you to the hospital if you contract alcohol poisoning. If you don’t handle your shit, you may not have any friends left come Monday.
If nothing else, have some respect for the campus we all pay so much to be able to go to every day, and that hundreds of people work to keep clean and beautiful. Don’t litter the Quad, or anywhere in the City of Davis, with red plastic cups and empty liquor bottles. Keep your parties to a reasonable size and be respectful of the Safety Enhancement Zone.
Picnic Day is the most anticipated day of the year, but if we don’t remain responsible and consume alcohol safely and reasonably, the event could be canceled — and we all know how disappointing that would be. Have fun, but take heed of The Aggie’s official Picnic Day tips: Use sunscreen. Bring snacks and a water bottle. Pace yourself. Know where the first-aid stations are. Walk or take the bus instead of driving.
And don’t forget to handle your shit.
