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Saturday, April 20, 2024

Editorial: Don’t break glass

As Whole Earth approaches and the Northern Hemisphere tilts closer to the sun, The California Aggie would like to ask that members of the community refrain from breaking glass on the ground.

You see, dear readers, we at The California Aggie spend such an incredible amount of time in Lower Freeborn – a windowless dungeon – that our feet can’t help but escape the constraints of shoes the minute we step outside. Our little toesies are just crazy about nature.

And this weekend, we will not be alone. Whole Earth Festival will bring busses full of hippies wearing nothing but tie-dye and dreads, looking to spread their toes in the grass and be one with Mother Nature. Do not muck things up for these people.

Not to mention, they will bring their children. If you are not yet convinced that throwing glass on the ground is a bad idea, think about these baby future leaders of the world. Think about how annoying it is when they cry.

We understand that this whole “glass” thing may have come out of nowhere. But sources close to the Editorial Board saw beer bottles being chucked from second-story apartments onto Third Street a couple of weekends ago. And sometimes people let their cats knock lamps over and then forget to sweep up broken bits of compact fluorescents until their roommate has to do it when she has friends over. And maybe certain members of the Editorial Board always step on glass, like always, and it just sucks, you know?

Anyway…

Let’s use this weekend to embrace recycling and put our containers in the right receptacles. Together we shall peacefully appreciate the environment around us — barefooted and free of glass bits.

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