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Monday, September 20, 2021

Column: How I think

I had a hard time thinking of what to write my outgoing editor in chief column about. Below is the thought process I went through.

Oh man, what should I write about for my last column of the year? So much has happened during my term. Town halls, pepper spraying, protests. This was a pretty important year for The Aggie — I should probably write about that.

Or I could write about the San Francisco Giants. Yeah, that would be easy. I can talk about the Giants for days on days on days. I do check my Twitter every five minutes for breaking Giants updates. I am a little obsessed.

No, Jason, get back to the topic at hand. You can use this space to divulge the cosmic truth of student journalism. Describe the leadership and flexibility needed to succeed in a struggling industry. Talk about the adversity you faced this year, being a 20-year-old running a $200,000 business.

I could talk about the Foo Fighters! Oh, man, I love me some Foo. Remember their concert you went to with your girlfriend? They tore the house down. You have to admit, screaming “Everlong” to close out the show was probably your favorite concert experience ever. They have a lot of influential songs that you can use to relate to your time in charge. “Times like These” is about looking past the struggles and stresses of a situation and finding the light at the end of the tunnel. That has some cosmic truthiness to it, doesn’t it?

I just remembered that concert was on Nov. 1! Oh, man, do I love that day so freaking much. It’s probably my favorite day of the year (non-holiday, and yes, I consider my birthday a holiday). Nov. 1, 2010 was probably the happiest I’ve ever been, no joke. Don’t believe me? I still have that game on my DVR at my apartment. Whenever I had a bad day — and there’ve been a good amount of those this year — I put it on and watch Edgar Renteria’s seventh-inning bomb, or Brian Wilson’s dirty cutter to close the game out. It always cheers me up.

OK, I need to focus. I should write about all the people that have helped me throughout the year. My dad, mom, sister and girlfriend listened to me complain about random crap throughout the year and only offered advice. My roommates would help me to relieve stress by playing basketball or raquetball or watching “Game of Thrones.”

Dude, “Game of Thrones” is a great show. HBO just knows how to make top-notch television. My friend from high school got me hooked on “The Wire,” too, so I watched all 60 episodes of the greatest show in the history of television (no joke) in the span of three months this year. Season five of “The Wire” is all about The Baltimore Sun and functions of a major newspaper; that’s relatable.

That would actually be a good column idea. I could write about how the skills I’ve learned this past year can translate to the real world. And by real world, I mean life outside of UC Davis. Yeah, that would be good. Like dealing with the Nov. 18 pepper spraying and managing its coverage? I’m sure I can think of a real-world translation for that.

I think I know what the problem is. There has been too much going on this year. I’ve gone through too much and gained too many experiences to fit into a 500-word column. I wouldn’t be able to do justice for what I’ve learned. As the great Ron Swanson says, “Don’t half-ass two things; whole-ass one thing.”

That’s what I’ll write about. I’ll tell my loyal reader(s) that there is no such thing as too much experience and if you have any opportunity to boost the resume, do it. That’s what college is all about, right? I think there’s some cosmic truth in that … I think … maybe …

Man, screw it, I’m just going to write about the Giants.

And that’s that for JASON ALPERT at The Aggie. It’s been fun, see y’all around.  

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