I am writing to you concerning a column published in The California Aggie on Feb. 6, entitled “In the mood,” in the spirit of firmest congratulations. At first I was concerned that The Aggie had mistakenly printed an article entirely devoid of content, and yet! Yet as I read further I realized the cunning of your craft, your bold intention to give voice to that group so disenfranchised in our society — baked college students. What commendable nobility of purpose!
The more I read the more the fear in me grew, as he spoke with such candour of his travails — I felt for the man, with such consternation that I immediately rushed out into campus and bellowed his name, hoping to hold him close and let his tears run free against my breast.
Without tales such as that of [Leo] Ocampo, of a man’s plight against a universe gone awry, the people of California might be inclined to suspect that students’ partaking of marijuana isn’t newsworthy. But no! Such foolishness must be fought! As the public turns a blind eye to the dashing work of these young rebels so they must be reminded of the heartbreak such a life entails!
Certainly I was enraptured by Mr. Ocampo’s bravery in the face of a palpable lack of crisis, and glad to see it published, as such sterling work must — must, I say — not go unrecognized. In solidarity I am campaigning for a candlelit vigil (in that very self-same almond field!) to commemorate the courage of his efforts, and to make sure such a travesty never happens again. I know I can count on the support of The Aggie in this venture.
Till then, do not let a daunting lack of interest halt your efforts; without The Aggie lifting up Ocampo’s rotund blunt as a martyr to fate, how else can the public be roused to inaction? I hope it is not to forward of me to request your coverage of my own sterling work in this field, his field, which I have been stationed in since the article’s publication with several sacks of lighters.
I remain, glibly, yours,
Samwell Bucket
Author of “Pining for Dodos”, and fourth-year English major “who attended the school last year as a visiting scholar, and remained within the area.”
