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Friday, May 24, 2024

Roving Reporter: Awkward Valentine’s Day stories

“We went to Mikuni, which we usually go to, and it’s pretty good, and we ate, like, a lot more than we usually would. We got drinks too. Then we went to Pinkberry, and I didn’t have any and he had some, and then he texted me this morning asking if I got food poisoning. I was like, ‘No …’ So I don’t know what it was, but something about last night …”
— Nasim Yazdani, fourth-year international relations major

“I had a really fun Valentine’s Day. I just drank an entire box of wine. They’re amazing — with a straw, with my puppy. He was awesome. He helped a little … just a little.”
— Rachel Kemiji, third-year classics and philosophy double major

“In seventh grade, I started dating this guy, and we wanted to have our first kiss. So awkwardly on Valentine’s Day we were like, ‘Oh, we should kiss, I want to kiss you!’ It took us two days, and when it finally happened, we missed! It was just extremely awkward and super forced.”
— Kaitlyn Schei, third-year animal biology and Spanish double major

“In eighth grade there was this kid who was kind of awkward, and no one really liked him. But I guess he had a really fat crush on me. So the first thing he did was he bought me 25 Valentine’s Day grams, which came with an assortment of fake roses and candy attached to every single one. So in class, the little cupid boy came in and he presented me with this huge bouquet of fake flowers, and then he stood aside and was like, ‘I was also requested to tell you a poem.’ So in front of my entire class he read me a poem by this guy that no one really liked, and neither did I, confessing his love for me along with 25 fake flowers. It was terrible, I was really embarrassed. I was kind of like, ‘Thank you, that was sweet.’ It was all I could say, I didn’t know what else to do.”
— Hannah Mitchell, second-year environmental science and management major

“In high school, there was one time where I was with my girlfriend, and we were supposed to go somewhere, but I completely forgot. So I tried to make this up last minute — well, we had a dance coming up at our school, so I tried to ask her to the dance really romantically and I was going to take her to dinner that night and all that stuff. But it turned out that she said no, and she was actually about to break up with me. So … it wasn’t the best week in the world. I didn’t go to that dance either, so it was sad.”
—Omar Tejera Cespedes, third-year psychology major

“One of my friends worked a cashier job for Rite Aid, and he said it’s the one day out of the entire year that he actually sells more condoms than tampons.”
—David Smotherman, fourth-year biochemistry and molecular biology double major

“We had a breakfast picnic in the rain. It wasn’t awkward, but it was a little uncomfortable.”
—Michelle Rugg, fourth-year civil and environmental engineering major

“Freshman year there was this guy in another dorm that my friends were friends with. They were trying really hard to set us up, because you know, they were all friends and they thought it would be cute if we got together. And well, I guess they kind of, well, eventually egged him into actually asking me out, and when he did everyone was there. I was like, ‘I feel so pressured to say ‘yes’,’ but I didn’t want to. I turned him down.”
—Sherry Chen, fifth-year cell biology major

“In high school there was a guy during Valentine’s Day, he was asking a girl to be his girlfriend, and he got us, all of his friends, to go on the roof of the gym and take off our shirts. We were going to dance to a song that he was going to play on the speakers, but he accidentally forgot to get it approved, so we spent probably 15 minutes during lunch waiting to get the song to play. So we were all standing there, shirtless, for 15 minutes, and he never got the song to play. So eventually we just danced to nothing, and he threw a rose at her, and then left.”
—Mark Burnside, second-year math and English double major

“So in middle school, like in seventh grade, there was this one chick I liked a lot, so I asked her to come outside and meet me at a lunch table. This was awkward, like, I had roses and everything ready. Everything was set up and everything and all of her friends were there. And then she got food poisoning or something, so I’m like, awkwardly standing there — I’m ready, you know. It was like, yeah, it was like that. I didn’t have a phone, so I went to the office and I called her from there and I was like ‘Hey, where are you?’ and she was like, ‘I’m at the hospital, I got food poisoning.’ So I’m like ‘Shit. Wow.’”
—Arjun Natarajan, second-year biotechnology major


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