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Sunday, September 26, 2021

Editorial: Happy 99th

This Saturday, April 20, is Picnic Day, and like all red-blooded UC Davis students, The California Aggie editorial board is stoked for a full day of campus celebration and cheer. Since many of us have gone through the wringer a few too many times, we would like to give fresh-faced freshmen (our main reader base) a full 7 inches of tips, tricks and protocol to make 98 years of past Picnic Day-ers proud.

Since past editorials have focused on campus safety and behavior, we won’t waste too much space reminding you that under no circumstances should you hang out with visitors from Woodland. Do not invite these people into your apartment. Do not tell them “where the party’s at,” and do not, DO NOT get into a friendly brawl with these visitors on Third Street. This rule applies to visitors from nearly every regional suburb, though is especially true for citizens of any town that can be reached via Hwy 113.

If you want champagne with your orange juice, buy it early. Over 50 local businesses that serve or sell alcohol have pledged to alter their offerings — they’re limiting sales before 11 a.m. and are not having special alcohol promotions. Not to mention, by April 19, liquor store shelves will be stripped of college student budget-friendly drinks, such as plastic handles of vodka.

While it may be tempting to leave room in your stomach for rage cage losses and soon-to-be-expelled bile, nothing beats Picnic Day in the dining commons, or a long, indulgent brunch with your friends. Please eat, or risk becoming a woo-girl. (This applies to everyone.)

Once you’ve eaten your weight in cereal, explore! The best times may be had at some North Davis megacomplex. But other really fun times can be had in Wellman, where there are often kittens, student films and kittens.

Be sure to bring cash. You never know when the ASUCD Coffee House registers will go down, or when you’ll need to be Pedicabbed across town. Unitrans charges $1 on Picnic Day, too.

If drinking isn’t for you, and the date 4/20 means nothing to you, Picnic Day is still a lovely time to sit on the grass and listen to live music. If “drinking isn’t for you,” do not choose Picnic Day for your first time on hallucinogens. Not only will the crowds be overwhelming, you will regrettably be awake during the citywide 3 p.m. siesta.

More tricks and tips can be found in our Picnic Day insert. But if you read it, don’t do anything we wouldn’t do.

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