My name is Evan Lilley, and I’m here to introduce readers of The California Aggie to my new and “completely necessary” humor column. Some may doubt why the newspaper actually needs such a column when there are plenty of other good sources of satirical news such as The Onion or “The Daily Show.” Good point. However, this column will have some important aspects worth noting.
What makes this column special is that it will address issues that are relevant to UC Davis students, such as “why everyone looks so depressed on morning bus routes,” and whether the row of exotically named coffees at the CoHo are all just one batch with different labels to make it look like there is variety.
This column, along with columns from Ethan Victor and Alex Guzman — the other humorists — will include amazing stories that few journalists are willing to cover or discuss (primarily because they are absolutely false). It’s one thing to read about campus clubs hosting fundraisers and the latest football scores, but it’s another thing to investigate the Vampire Union Strikes against exclusion from blood drives and the growing epidemic of Vacuamanuaphobia (fear-of-not-having-a-smartphone-in your-hand). You might even read about conspiracies of the secret Unitrans bus line that sends you back in time to 1961, or tales of the horrid Arboretum Swamp Monster who comes out at night to run the Theater and Dance Department. These are the kinds of stories I promise to bring to the students of UC Davis.
I am a Senior in Studio Art and Film who was raised right here in Davis. Originally, I worked at the Aggie as a part-time cartoonist. My exploration into writing humor happened thanks to the encouragement of my professors. Whenever I handed in an essay for class assignment, they would ask me “Is this some kind of joke” and then they would label it “Funny” with a large red “F.”
This winter quarter, I intend to serve the Aggie and the campus to the best of my ability, and that I hope that you, the readers, will enjoy what I have to offer.
You can reach EVAN LILLEY at email@example.com.