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Friday, April 26, 2024

Humor: School pays janitor $175,000 to clean bathroom

VENOOS MOSHAYEDI / AGGIE
VENOOS MOSHAYEDI / AGGIE

Mark Rasmus, a UC Davis janitor working in Wellman Hall, had his Friday night graveyard shift interrupted by a frantic phone call from his wife, Sharon. After five missed calls, Rasmus decided that he should pick up his phone.

Rasmus says that he usually leaves his phone on vibrate to prevent any distractions, but because of the time, and the constant vibrations, he decided it might be something important.

“Sharon called me. She was crying. She asked if there was a mistake in our account after $175,000 had been transferred into it earlier in the day,” Rasmus said. “I told her it wasn’t a problem at all. I was doing my job. I want to clean the bathrooms perfectly. I want to erase everything, preventing crap that looks like it could have been there from five years ago from showing up again.”

Rasmus is being rewarded for his hard work. He claims that he didn’t want anyone to know he was getting paid such a large sum.

“He just wanted to keep his work life private,” Sharon said. “You know, go about it all business-as-usual. The bathrooms should be clean; he understands that. It’s his priority. His legacy is the cleanliness of the bathroom. And I’ve never seen a paycheck so large. I guess he got a raise and didn’t tell me. I’m very proud of him.”

Wellman’s first floor bathroom is said to be the cleanest on campus. Rasmus takes his job very seriously, which can include anything from sweeping, mopping, refilling soap dispensers and picking up people’s clothes.

“I deal a lot with people’s dirty laundry,” Rasmus said. “I just try to keep our campus clean.”

You can reach ETHAN VICTOR at ejvictor@ucdavis.edu or read the nonsense he posts in the Twittersphere @thejvictor

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