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Friday, February 23, 2024

Humor: Quiet study area in Shields Library declared “best place to have an obnoxiously loud conversation”


How a brave group of students is changing how we use the library one loud conversation at a time.

A local UC Davis fourth-year is inspiring students everywhere with a brave declaration he made earlier this week. Computer science major and self-proclaimed “life of the party,” Ian Schneider, spoke to The Aggie about how he plans to redefine what Shields Library is all about.

“When I heard that there were quiet study areas in the library, I thought to myself, ‘This is an incredible opportunity to make sure that people who are just trying to study peacefully can overhear loud conversations that I’m having with my friends about completely unimportant things.’ I like to think of it as a kind of community service. It’s my way of giving back to the student body. They can thank me later.”

Schneider’s revelation has paved the way for countless other students to have rudely loud conversations in the library.

“Ian really is a hero,” said Rebecca Jenkins, a third-year linguistics major. “Now I know that the student body will embrace me when I totally distract them by speaking at an obnoxious volume while they’re trying to work. I mean, after all, I am doing them a favor. Everybody shoud be able to hear my conversations about my ‘unpopular opinion’ that Beyoncé is overrated.”

But these advancements have not been without their fair share of criticism. For some reason, a few local nerds have a problem with the fact that the library’s main purpose will now be for socializing rather than studying.

“I just kind of wanted to study in the library without having to hear about the ‘sick rager’ that some group of friends went to over the weekend. But I guess that’s too much to ask,” said total loser Nathaniel Surgestrom, a first-year mechanical engineering major.

It’s safe to say that Shields Library will never be the same thanks to the brave souls that are rebelling against “quiet study areas.” Now, whenever some boring students go to the library expecting to study, they’ll be treated to loud conversations that would even be considered yelling  outside. Amazing. These heroes of the UC Davis community deserve our praise and admiration.

You can reach BRIAN LANDRY at bjlandry@ucdavis.edu


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