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Monday, April 15, 2024

Humor: Aggie Graduation (à la Californiacation)


With June only one day away, commencement ceremonies are just around the corner. It’s an important time for those who are close to facing life after college. To get students geared up for this special moment, here’s a graduation themed poem based on the song “Californication” by the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

Nine PM till morning
Trying to fight procrastination
Four years of sweaty dorm rooms
For your wisdom’s confirmation
And if you want to chase your dreams
Then get an education

It’s the part of your life
Where you will go through transformation
From bed to class, each test to pass
Doing homework at the nearest bus station
A daily strife, this is your life
Before your graduation

Voice your moans on shady loans
With money you’ve been saving
To learn the skills so you can kill
For that job you are craving

Essays undone
No time for fun
Dream of Aggie graduation
Dream of Aggie graduation

The day to walk is all the talk
A twenty something celebration
A wedding for your brain
It’s just another exaggeration
And even Gunrock sells the hype on
Aggie graduation

Rent your gown and drop the frown
It’s just like going to heaven
A life long plan your parents had
Since the day that you turned seven
It will not last forever
On your day of graduation

Light the night with cheers and beers
And karaoke singing
Cause morning is your first day
of a forty year migraining

Adulthood storm
Society’s form
Dream of Aggie graduation
Dream of Aggie graduation

Changing the world or earning green
Is a false dichotomization
Hope and pessimism must be put in moderation
Remember all these lessons on your day of

Planning for the future
Is the one thing that will save you
A life of honorable service is
Of some vice but more virtue

Done with this song
Young Grads, march on
Dream of Aggie graduation
Dream of Aggie graduation
Dream of Aggie graduation
Dream of Aggie graduation

Job Finding
Change the world

You can reach EVAN LILLEY at etlilley@ucdavis.edu


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