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Thursday, April 25, 2024

HUMOR: Linda Katehi caught pickpocketing students on Quad

ALEXA FONTANILLA / AGGIE
ALEXA FONTANILLA / AGGIE

Former chancellor gets a little “out of control” in what appears to be revenge act

It’s not easy to lose your job, especially when it means leaving a powerful and high-paying career at a prestigious institution for a different powerful and high-paying career at the exact same institution. Former Chancellor Linda Katehi found this out the hard way. Katehi is under fire once again at UC Davis, this time for stealing money directly out of the pockets of UC Davis students. The incident occurred during the first week of Fall Quarter 2016.

Katehi is said to have accumulated a little over $400,000 from almost 27,000 students before someone realized what she was doing and called campus police. Upon the arrival of the police, Chancellor Katehi told them that she was, in fact, not under arrest, despite their claims. They left shortly after.

One of the victims of Katehi’s actions was Samantha Reynolds, a third-year economics major, who caught Katehi in the act.

“I thought it was just some guy getting grabby, but it was actually Chancellor Katehi trying to steal my wallet! I couldn’t believe my eyes,” Reynolds said. “It brings up some serious concerns about who used to be in charge of this institution. At least the person in charge now was only pressured to resign from his former position at another college because of embezzlement accusations. At least some administrators still have morals!”

Katehi sent out a lengthy email regarding the scandal after seeing how many students were Yik Yak-ing and chalking the campus about her.

Here is part of the response crafted by her PR team:

“It hurts me greatly that I have been caught stealing money from you, the beloved students of this university. I can assure you that I will do everything in my power to make sure it looks like I have learned my lesson from this experience.”

Not satisfied with this response from the chancellor, a group of brave student activists began an occupation of Katehi’s house. Many are actually living in the chancellor’s home full-time, having food delivered and camping out overnight.

“We don’t plan to leave until she resigns and gives me my wallet back,” said Ryan Paul, occupier and hoverboard owner.

Katehi said she plans to keep the money, but she will use part of it to set up a $30 scholarship fund for five lucky undergraduates to split.

The former chancellor is expected to keep her job at UC Davis despite the incident, and might even get a raise.

 

Written by: Brian Landry –– bjlandry@ucdavis.edu

1 COMMENT

  1. Well done. Very cleverly written. In fairness, though, the embezzlement thing is just the recirculating of an old rumor that never checked out.

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