51.1 F

Davis, California

Sunday, March 3, 2024

Valentine’s Day haikus by the Editorial Board


Short tales of love and loss from Aggie editors

Scott Dresser — Editor-in-Chief

Today is the worst

I had dinner with my cat

At least there’s Netflix


Ellie Dierking — Managing Editor

Valentine’s? Who cares.

It’s girl scout cookie season.

Thin mints: here I come.


Alyssa Vandenberg — Campus News Editor

Nothing better than

Cheap candy the day after.

I love you, Target.


Sam Solomon — City News Editor

My apartment is

infested with bed bugs, so

Netflix at your place?


Emilie DeFazio — Features Editor

Roses are red and

Cliches are ubiquitous.

Valentine’s Day sucks.


Eli Flesch — Opinion Editor

If you were born Nov.

Your birthday’s nine months away

From this special day.


Amanda Ong — Arts and Culture Editor

Oh no. He lives eight

bus stops away from my stop.

Long distance is hard.


Ariel Robbins — Science and Tech Editor

There once was a man

from Nantucket. He didn’t

text back. F*CK YOU, MARK


Bryan Sykes — Sports Editor

All these sad Haikus.

Why don’t they like Valentine’s?

I am very loved.



Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here