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Davis, California

Wednesday, July 24, 2024

Humor: School to install stop sign near Death Star to distract from tuition hikes


Campus creates diversion in an effort to avoid institutional crisis

The first UC tuition hike in six years has made for a time of unrest on the Davis campus. A proposed annual $282 increase for in-state student tuition is set to direct resources for the purpose of lowering the student-faculty ratio and improving the classroom environment. For out-of-state students, however, the increase comes at a much greater price of around $1,500 annually. The last tuition hike was six years ago.

With the student body reeling, the university has put in a stop sign at the intersection of North Quad and East Quad, in front of the Social Sciences Building (otherwise known as the Death Star) to distract from the problems at hand. A sly move, but admittedly calculated.

“We were on the side of evil, but we put in a stop sign,” said Bill D. Rhodes, director of Street Development. “That corner is home to more accidents than any other location on campus. We’re heroes for this.”

In a classic authoritarian move, UC Davis has created a distraction to blanket the real matter at hand. The intersection is the most dangerous on campus, with 30 reported accidents each quarter. This is more than three times the second-place location, the walkway in front of the Segundo Dining Hall.

The implementation of the new road sign is an attempt by the administration to show that it cares about its students as it offers them a temporary fix to a much greater issue. Some students, however, are not fooled.

“Yeah, no. Not gonna work,” said Neil John, a fifth-year nutrition sciences major. “I’ve been here four years. I’ve seen my fair share of cover-ups. Just look at how last year it was discovered Katehi tried to scrub the internet of pepper-spray. I know a fraudulent move when I see one. And this screams fraud.”

Other students see this as an opportunity to better the campus.

“Honestly, if they’re going to create a small raise in tuition and then cover it up with weird amenities that make us forget what they’re doing is wrong, I’m all for it,” said Noah Sense, a first-year undeclared student.

The school is admittedly creating a diversion to cover up a larger problem. The new sign will help, but it shouldn’t take a tuition hike to ensure the safety of its students, especially with something as simple as putting up a red octagon on a pole. The move is long overdue, and it is insulting that it must come at the expense of $282 per quarter from every in-state student in the UC system.

While the funding would be going to the right cause, taking money from people that aren’t students would be a better place to start. With salaries well above $300,000, the administrators in power could stand to ease the financial burden on those who need the most help — students.
Written by: Ethan Victor — ejvictor@ucdavis.edu


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