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Thursday, April 25, 2024

Humor: Student takes quick study break after thinking about starting homework

ALEXA FONTANILLA / AGGIE

Students share unorthodox study techniques that are probably fine

When walking through the library, one typically sees busy students toiling away at their schoolwork. But students can’t possibly be studying at all times, which is why many take breaks from their studies before, during and after their schoolwork.

One such student is Michael Scarn, a second-year psychology major and artist of an a capella-dubstep cover album that reached the number-two spot on the a capella-dubstep mashup charts.

“I personally like to take some preparatory breaks before I start my work,” Scarn said. “It would be unrealistic to both think about starting my homework and then actually start it. That’s just…a lot. So I usually just do a little thinking about the work I need to do and then take my first break. It keeps me fresh. Keeps me going. If I didn’t take breaks all the time, I wouldn’t get any work done. And trust me, I get work done. You don’t get a summer internship at a mid-tier Northeastern Pennsylvania paper supplier by doing nothing.”

Scarn is not alone. Several other students have similar stories about how study breaks help them.

“Sometimes I’ll actually just go to the library and watch Netflix,” said Sarah Cube, a fourth-year communication major and human lawnmower. “The way I see it, just being in the library automatically makes me productive, so it doesn’t even matter if I waste all my time. During finals week I’ll actually sit in the 24-hour study room for days watching Netflix. I’ll just absorb the knowledge from all the students studying around me by osmosis. I know it sounds strange, but from what I can tell, it really works. I’m getting pretty close to the number-one spot in my class, which they only give to the person whose GPA is closest to the number one. So, yeah, I’m going places.”

It’s becoming increasingly common for students to take a Netflix-based approach to studying. In a move to show that she really is qualified to be Secretary of Education, Betsy DeVos has ordered the Department of Education to spend millions of dollars to get Netflix to stream The Apprentice so that public school students can have something “godly” to watch while taking study breaks.

 

Written by: Brian Landry — bjlandry@ucdavis.edu

 

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