Prank sets scary precedent for future acts of wild spontaneity
The Davis community has a scandal on its hands.
The Coffee House (CoHo) was recently robbed during a prank a student pulled in an attempt to kickstart a career as a semi-successful YouTube vlogger. The perpetrator described the incident to The California Aggie.
“It was a huge deal,” said the student, who requested to remain anonymous, but for some reason insisted it be revealed that they have the world’s third largest collection of pasta that is slightly too old to taste good, but not old enough to throw out. “When the cashier asked me if I wanted cream in my iced coffee, I said ‘no.’ And then, when I got my coffee, I put cream in anyways. I don’t know what made me think of doing something so spontaneous and wild. Lately I’ve just been feeling really brave, and I thought that maybe if I snapchatted the entire event it would be a really good way to launch my career as a YouTuber who maybe does fun pranks like murdering people, but like as a joke. We’ll see.”
News of the massive prank sent shockwaves through the UC Davis campus. If students can get away with stealing a sip or two of coffee from the CoHo, what else might they be able to get away with?
“I think this sets a new standard for what’s acceptable here,” said Rachel Lamp, a fourth-year English major and human ladder. “Now I’m feeling really tempted to do something really wild. I might sit on the Quad when it’s a questionable level of damp and not even care. I might even get off the bus two stops early and walk the rest of the way just to mess with everybody! Who knows! I’m feeling wild!”
Whatever crazy acts happen as a result of this massive prank, one can only hope that it isn’t as destructive as stealing a mouthful or two of organic coffee from the CoHo. We live in a scary world.
Written by: Brian Landry — email@example.com